Friday, May 15, 2009

You can beat two people at once...who knew?

From the puck drop when Zetterberg was interfered with, or held, or obstructed, your choice, take a pick, the Wings knew they were not competing against just the Ducks, but also the officials. And you know what, they gave the middle finger to Gary Bitchman (who coincidentally was at the game) and all his evil lackeys. They said fuck you, we're the Detroit Red Wings and despite the fact that we will be playing 5 on 6 for the rest of the game, you can suck it. And by it, I mean something dirty and infected.

It was absolutely unbelievable. In the opening 5 minutes you could see how the game was going to be called..... And yet the Wings didn't give up. Throughout each game, even after the game 3 with the Hossa goal we will not name, occurred, the refs decided it was appropriate to let the Ducks play and call Detroit for every nasty look they shot Anaheim's way. It was disgusting. The NHL should be ashamed.

Below is my game recap. I promise this will be random, and completely devoid of any real quality. So if you do continue to read on, remember you have been warned. I am still far too excited and slightly on edge to be coherent at this point. I'm quite sure my co-workers are convinced I'm bipolar as yesterday I was still a bit unpleasant, and today I am walking around with unicorns, rainbows, and sunshine shooting out of my ass. I think it is far to difficult to explain to the non fans around me.

In the opening minutes, the Ducks were interfering, cross checking, and portraying their typical thuggery. The Wings were tackled in the offensive zone and nothing was called. Fine. It's the Wings, they'll play through it. Especially if it is consistently called. But as soon as the Duck's get it down in the Wings zone, a weak, weak penalty is called. AND THEN ANOTHER. A 5 on 3 during a game 7 in the playoffs. I was in shock. I knew this game would be torture when I began pacing back and forth during the first 5 minutes. But through a tremendous work ethic, drive, and determination, the Wings killed the Christmas gift to the Ducks. Throughout the 5 on 3, or if you include the refs, the 6 on 3, the Wings made some amazing plays. First is Stuart with a diving, sliding poke check to stop the Dicks on the breakaway, Ozzie then comes up with a few huge saves, Dangle Dangle, carries the puck down to the Ducks zone like a bad ass on a one on one situation, and then backchecks like a crack head finding out a new methadone clinic has opened to make a brilliant play, and in the final seconds Zetterberg sacrifices his body and takes a big hit to clear the puck.

The Wings killed the penalty. I couldn't believe. It's like they took Gary's balls and not only kicked them, but began to pull out each pubic hair. It was unbelievable. The momentum had swung hugely in Detroit's favor. Not only did they kill off a 5 on 3 during a game 7, but Ozzie completely robbed Wisnewski of an open net. Justice could not be better.

Shortly after this, Versus showed multiple clips of Pronger cross checking and punching Homer in front of the net. They then proceeded to comment on what an amazing job he was doing of rendering Holmstrom useless. Funny, I guess the typical rules of hockey don't apply to Pronger the cum rag. I compare this to someone robbing a bank and then others discussing what a great job they do of making money. It's sure as hell not legal, but I guess they achieved their goal. The game seemed to be in a total state of anarchy at this point.

Once Versus finished creaming their panties over Pronger, little Happy gained his retribution against the Ducks with the Wings opening goal on the power play. Amazing.

And on a side note, I know Wings fans are hated throughout the NHL. People call them lazy and spoiled. Tonight, once again, Detroit fans proved them wrong. I would argue they were on their feet the entire first period. Chanting, Let's go Red Wings, Pronger Sucks, or Ozzie Ozzie. During this do or die emotional game, the fans we're right there with the Wings. And I believe it makes a huge difference. When you can hear the noise on Versus it must be loud. I talked to my cousin this morning who was at the game, and as another "super fan" he compared it to an almost religious experience at the Joe.

Within the first few minutes of the second period, Helm with all of his crazy cracked out speed, takes the puck on the breakaway and scores a beautiful goal! After his first goal of the playoffs and all of the "controversy" that followed it, was there anyone other Dangle Dangle and Helm that you wanted to score? Beautiful. Just beautiful.

But soon after this, like a rabid bobcat backed into the corner, the Ducks began to play their dirty overtly physical game. The elbows and cross checks were flying. And well then there was the Pronger hit/WWE take down of Hossa. Throughout the series I haven't said as much about Pronger. Perhaps it was because I was distracted with the douche like plays of Niedermayer, Perry, and Getzlaf. Well tonight, in game 7 Pronger came out in fine form. After a high hit on Hossa, he grabs him by the neck and wrestles him down to the ground. Vince Mcmahon may be calling him once he retries. The absolutely ridiculous part is that he did it less than 2 feet away from the ref and no call. But I will say this. Hossa showed restraint and how classy the Wings organization really is. Instead of turning to the ref and complaining in a manner that would make Getzlaf and Perry proud, he simply got back up and hauled ass to get into the play.

Shortly after the body slam, there was a horrible penalty called on Stuart. He checked Selanne into the boards, and Selanne went down, and of course stayed down. Even Versus was shocked they called the penalty. It's clear it wouldn't have been called had Selanne not appeared hurt, but I guess a little acting can go a long way in the "new NHL." The best part, it gave the Ducks their second 5 on 3, during a game 7. Not sure I remember that happening before. But lucky for Selanne he didn't miss a shift and was able to play during the 5 on 3. Despite all of this somehow Detroit's ridiculous work ethic allowed them to once again kill a 5 on 3. Amazing effort from every person on the ice.

Shortly after this Selanne scores on a play that if it happened to Hiller, the Ducks would have been screaming for goaltender interference. But Ozzie and the team shook it off and continued playing. 2-1

After Helm's goal, the next prettiest set up had to be on Samuelssons goal. Filppula started the play by out working Niedermayer, and poking the puck forward to get a shot off on Hiller. It went behind the Duck's net and Dangle Dangle put himself in a very vulnerable position, knowing he would get absolutely wrecked to make a pass back to Samulesson who jammed it home. A perfect example of the hard work and selfless play Detroit can exhibit. It gave you goose bumps and came so quickly after the Selanne goal there was a momentum swing.

The real head scratcher of the night came when Hudler was cross checked by Pronger of course, down to his knees and pushed into Hiller. My face lit up thinking, power play Detroit. And then I was crushed like when I found out Santa wasn't real, when somehow Hudler got the penalty.

Anahymen works their way back and ties up the game 3-3.

And then with three minutes left in the game, and an overtime seeming inevitable, Zetterberg makes an amazing play to Cleary for the game winner. This will sound weird and my fiance could not understand why I felt this way, but I LOVED that the final goal was controversial. I love that karma decided to seek her final revenge at that last moment. Not just for Game three, but for the end of game 6, for the penalty on Hudler and Stuart, for having to look at Chris Prongers fucking face for 7 games. Revenge could not come at a better time. I jumped, screamed, kissed my dog, and confirmed for my neighbors that I am in fact completely nuts during the playoffs. The perfect ending.

A few other thoughts. The Hossa, Helm, Hudler line was fantastic and offered a whole other dimension to Detroit's game.

Zetterberg, Datsyuk, Helm, Ozzie, and Stuart had unbelievable games. But really it's hard to pick just a few great Wings last night. Each and every Red Wing left 110% out on the ice. They wanted it as a team, and did what they could to make it happen. Detroit was lucky Rafalski was back, his ability to get the puck on net and smart defensive plays were beneficial all night. And Kris Draper looked great his first game back.

Someone somewhere, I can't remember at this point due to my natural high, said they didn't want Niedermayer to be suspended. They wanted him to play, and the Wings to beat him forcing him to endure the handshake line at the Joe, in front of all the Detroit fans. And you know what, that was incredibly gratifying to watch.

I know this post was incredibly long and probably just self indulgent. But it was just too wonderful of a win to not get to relive. I hate the Ducks. I knew I did before the series began, but that hatred increased 10 times during each game. Losing to them wasn't an option, and Detroit knew it. The classic good versus evil and the good guys won. Their hard work got them there. It didn't feel like a second round win, it felt like so much more. I just hope that Detroit can take this energy and enthusiasm to the next round.

I will try to have a post series write up later as well as a preview for the Conference Finals against Chicago. But I can't promise it will be today. I'll be on a plane back to Michigan for the weekend, where I will be drug around doing wedding related tasks...blahhhh. But there's always time for Red Wings hockey, so check back.

Until then, Congrats to Detroit, Suck it Ducks, and Let's Go Wings!


  1. Nice write up. Could not have done it better myself.


  2. C'mon, Jess. Tell us how you really feel.