Sunday, May 31, 2009

A Recap and A Preview in One

Thanks to Commissioner Bitchman's revolutionary idea for back to back games, I will try to combine the recap and the preview all in one. Yeah I'm so excited about that too. Game one certainly wasn't the Wings best effort. However oddly enough they seemed to catch on to the battle cry from their coaches, fans, and media and came out strong in the first....unfortunately the second period was frightening and the third was only marginally better.

Due to the highly emotional state I was in while watching the game, here are just a few of my random and sporadic thoughts. And thanks in advance for trying to understand what the hell I'm talking about.

Thanks NBC for not disappointing me and for allowing me to make a little cash. I took bets with the friends I was watching the game with about who would give the first interview. I was shocked, and I mean shocked to learn I was correct by guessing Crosby. I did however lose out on one. I half expected them to photoshop a picture of Crosby carrying the cup and either type 2008 champion of 2009 champion underneath. At this point it's all semantics and doesn't really matter. They want him as the new Stanley Cup winner.

The first period was one of the best first periods I have seen from the Wings in a long time. They seemed to control the puck and had some good offensive opportunities. The defense played well, but they did seem to be giving away the puck far too much. With a team like Pittsburgh that needs to stop yesterday.

During the second period the Wings were greatly outplayed and were essentially, once again, saved by Ozzie. He made some huge saves and kept them in the game. Everyone and their mother has been writing how the Wings are lucky....hmmmmm interesting whenever another team has been lucky it has been spun as working for your luck, or making your own luck. But for the Wings not so much. Well I'll say it, Franzen made a great play when the puck came off the boards at the end of the second and had a beautiful backhand goal. Now if Crosby and Malkin would of made this play, you can be damn sure it would have been hailed as a creative thing of beauty. Something only the savior of the NHL could accomplish. So really everyone else can suck it.

About as surprising as Crosby still living with Mario, the Pens started a bunch of after the whistle shit. And equalling unsurprising the Wings didn't bite. That's fine little girls, even if the Wings continue to not get any power plays from this, they know your still as frustrated as hell and will enjoy getting into your heads.

Hossa seemed to be taking a lot of shit from his old teammates. Apparently Orpik is butt sore over the fact that Hossa for once wanted to choice his own destiny and pick the team he would play for. So he took a run at him during the first which certainly shook Hossa up. My heart literally stopped until I saw him on the ice again. Now, I'm just going to say....if Kronwall had made that hit.....

Speaking of which, Crosby made a beautiful play shortly after....well beautiful to Gary and the legions of uneducated bandwagon Pittsburgh fans. He gave Zetterberg a nice elbow to the head....hmmmm now flip that and reverse it....I don't think a Wing could touch the anointed one in such a way. But whatever, I suppose this is now a great "defensive" play by Bitch Baby.

Well as you know the Wings scored first on a "lucky" bounce and the Pens tied it up on what I hope will be an uncharacteristic bad play by Ozzie. The game was tied 1-1 due to two lapses by the goalies. Although luckily for Detroit fans, when Osgood lets in a softy his rage becomes 10 times greater and is 10 times more effective than a pissed off Homer.

Sidenote: is it too much to ask for NBC to analyze the game during the intermissions....apparently so. After the first we learned what magical ingredients and all the love that Malkin's mom puts in his soup. I suspected that after the second we would be privileged to learn which diapers and aloe vera wipes Gary uses on his bitch baby.

Alright, back to the game. During the second period Malkin trips Kronwall at the Pens blue line, excuse me scratch that, he makes a beautiful defensive play and gets a breakaway. Apparently the leagues superstars now get away with blatant elbows and trips....luckily for the Wings Ozzie was still steaming about his softy goal and stoned Malkin on the breakway....still 2-1.

I think it's interesting to note here that the Pens were throwing everything they had at the Wings. Everything. And Detroit with a far less than perfect Ericsson, Lidstrom, and no Dangle or Draper still kept up with them. Although I hate to say it, but I think there will be a number of make up calls against the know for all of the lucky bounces...and for this:

Apparently Zetterberg jumped on Ozzie and while the puck was on Ozzie's back he touched it with his hand. I didn't actually see him touch it with his hand, but I'll believe everyone. Now I'll say this, even if Zetterberg hadn't done that, the play should have been called dead. No one knew where the puck was. The whistle would have been blown in that had been MAF. But not to worry Pittsburgh fans...Gary has already been on the phone with both his Bitch Baby and the officials. The Wings will now have to beat the Pens and the refs tonight, I can feel it. I just hope this favoritism begins to irritate the hockey gods.

Ville Leino had one of his strongest games of the playoffs. And not just because he did all of the work to set up Michigan States' own Abdlekader for the insurance goal. But because he finally started to make some defensive plays. It will be nice to see him continue with this.

Helm was once again Darren Freaking Helm, both on the PK and with 8 hits in 17 minutes of ice time. Although honestly I began to wonder more when he was not on the ice. He seemed to be everywhere. Everyone knows how fast he is, but I think they are underestimating how strong he is on the puck. This kid is pumped and just having fun and playing great.

Perhaps one of the most shocking occurrences came when Homer took a blatant elbow to the head and nothing was called. No, no that's not the crazy part, the strange aspect is NBC called that out as a penalty, and THEY were surprised when it wasn't called. Alright this morning I am stocking up on water and canned goods since the world must be coming to an end.

I think Zetterberg has already fully irritated our hockey savior. Uh oh Hank you're not going to be making any friends in the hockey world...After Crosby played video games and had a warm glass of milk with Mario, he hit speed dial 1 and had a conversation with Gary.

I think last night it is interesting to note that Detroit's 4th line was competitive with Pittsburgh's 2nd line. Over a 7 game series that may not bode well for the Pens.

At the end of the game Crosby let his frustration fully show. Apparently Maltby was "talking" too much for his liking after the game, so Bitch Baby slashed him while he was in the line to congratulate Ozzie. Wow, classy move by a classy captain. Way to lead your team you little bitch. But now I'm fully confused. The media and the Penguins have been telling me all week how they changed, they're experienced and ready to deal with the riggers of the Stanley Cup Finals...well maybe everyone but Crosby.

This leads me to my final point. Crosby while perhaps better offensively this year (although Malkin is the one who gives me nightmares not Bitch Baby) he still hasn't grown up. I said before his overall attitude and lack of respect for his peers was obnoxious, classless, and anything but the appropriate behavior of the anointed champion. Well apparently that hasn't changed. During the press conference, he bitched about Zetterberg and lucky bounces while failing to give credit to the job done by the Wings. I would be embarrassed if I saw a Detroit player act in the same manner.....

Oh and was it not funny seeing Abdelkader wearing Mule's warm up jacket during the presser....

Well not sure if you are aware, but apparently there is another game tonight.
I haven't heard anything about Dangle Dangle, but my suspicion is he will be out. In fact I fully suspect to see Draper in before the great Dangle. Damn.
Detroit last night was able to pull one out without key components of their team. Tonight, they will need to better. Much better. After the Zetterberg puck incident you can expect a lot of make up calls. Detroit will be playing against two skilled opponents.
It will also be important for them to deal with the Penguins forecheck. That seemed to be an area of concern last night.....but if they stop coughing the puck up so much (20 giveaways) I am sure that will help a great deal.
Last night the Wings won 71% of the faceoffs and in what was essentially a close game, that was a key to their success.
One last point, they need to continue to support one another defensively and backcheck like hell. Not only will it keep Pittsburgh off the score sheet, but it's clear that it will annoy the fuck out of them.
Tonight is a must win. Going to Pittsburgh tied 1-1 is not an option. They need that cushion until all their key players are back and able to contribute.
Yeah, and to everyone who continues to say the Wings are just lucky. You don't get to the Stanley Cup Finals due to luck. So if I had one, you could suck it.
Oh and please enjoy the song below. Just take out Kyle's mom and insert Sidney Crosby. Enjoy.


  1. It's no fun being unable to have a little R & R after Game One but the Wings have so far beaten back every prognostication in re: injuries to the game's best players; too old; too Euro; etc. ad nauseum. Thanks, Gary.Ass.

    Fetal. Orifices. Major leakage.

    Go Wings!!!

  2. I agree about Crosby's press conference. It's the same thing I've been bitching about for years. When you hear Chris Osgood describe his incredible save on Malkin's breakaway as being lucky to get his hand on it and then contrast it with Crosby's description of Zetterberg's faceoff win that led to the second goal...well, I'd be embarrassed if he was a Wing too.

  3. Good write up. I thought exactly as you did, the first period was wonderful and holy heck, what happened in the second! Wings have to be better on give aways. I agree that Malkin is scarier than Crysby and I do not understand how the Pens got away with so much last night.

    Worried about the back to back aspect. Heck, just worried in general but that is life as a Wings fan. My boyfriend remarked that it was an ugly game last night and I said, "It doesn't have to be perfect as long as you win!"