Friday, May 22, 2009

So Long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Good bye

UPDATE: Bruce MacLeod has the update on Datsyuk:

My guess is Datsyuk won't be in the lineup tonight. They might be waiting on something, but his equipment wasn't set out in the visitors locker room after the morning skate.

If I had balls, I imagine this is what they would feel like if there were kicked, stepped on, and then plucked clean. Yep gross, but a shitty way to start the afternoon. Must be pretty serious if he's not the question is, how long is he out?

Sigh. I will be taking off and leaving this afternoon, for the Happiest Place On Earth, or as I like to call it, my own personal hell. Oh that's right, for this wonderful long Memorial Day weekend, I am being drug to Disneyland. Surrounded in a sea of screaming, crying, and poopy diapers. And that's just the adults. The worst part, I will be in the car on the long 6 hour drive, missing the game tonight. I know, I know, it's ok to feel sympathy. At least I'll have my Blackberry and will be able to keep up on the Live Blog at A2Y. Well until I lose my signal, and then my hysterical inconsolable reaction may frighten my fiance's family even more. Now here's a question, since the games on Versus and won't be available in the hotels, and the only bar within walking distance is an ESPN Zone, will they have the game on Sunday?? Hmmmm I hope so, I'm sure at that point, I'll be needing a drink and if they don't carry Versus, I may be sending a strongly worded letter to Bitchman. Or picking a needless unnecessary fight with those around me because that's what adults do when they really want to throw themselves on the ground kicking and screaming.

Now I don't have an ego, so I know my absence will only cause my sister and a couple friends to miss out on my depraved hockey views. So if I'm not able to update this weekend, sorry guys. I'm sure I'll be texting you from the fetal position in the backseat of a car anyway.

Alright, now that I have fully wallowed in self pity, on to a few quick pre game thoughts.

I'm still scared absolutely shitless that Datsyuk won't be able to play. It may be irrational, but that's how I roll. He has been far to valuable defensively, as well as distracting the Hawks top players, that he is essentially irreplaceable. Here's what Babcock said:

"At this time of year there's lots of players that don't skate," Babcock said. "He got hit with a shot last game in the foot. I don't think we're hiding anything there. Something [similar] happened to [Jonathan] Ericsson last series and he was able to find a way to play. They had to freeze him up to get him going. So we'll see what happens here. The good thing about it is that coaches don't make those decisions, doctors do."

Personally, from seeing Datsyuk's dedication and commitment over the years, I think if there is anyway he can play, he will. Just hope the Doctor's will clear him, because we know due to Babcock's "anti American" sentiments he will definitely be in the line up. Damn, Roenick really is a little cocksucking whinny bitch.

It's obviously safe to say that the United Center is going to be crazy tonight. The first 10 minutes will be absolutely crucial, even more so than in the Columbus series. It will be key for Detroit to come out strong and crush the hopes of the Hawks fans. And that means women and children as well...sorry no sympathy in hockey. I would personally love to see tears, anguish, and general despair. Oh and that lovely chant "Detroit Sucks," my sister pointed out that it actually rhymes with or sounds like "Stanley Cups." Just a thought as I never really understood the concept of heckling another team outside of booing, when you should be cheering for your team. But whatever, to each his own. I just hope with the extra day off this week, the Wings will be able to dominate in the first period for the first time this series.

Ummm also, tonight would be a great time to break their 11 game streak of allowing at least one power play goal. I'm just saying....

Patrick Kane has been held pointless in the first two games, and they must try to ensure this continues to happen. It will be great to see his frustration start to affect his overall play. However, if Datsyuk is in fact out tonight, chances are Toews and Kane will once again be reunited in some sort of acne ridden superhero duo. Zetterberg and Lidstrom will certainly have their hands full.

Speaking of matchups, Quenneville has the last change, and if Toews and Kane are in fact together, the other defensive pairings will need to play extremely well. The rookie wall Ericsson has recently hit, I hope he's able to knock it fucking down with his 6' 5'' frame tonight. He's played with Ledba for the last few games now and they should have their rhythm and communication back.

Alright if Datsyuk is in fact out tonight (don't worry I'm still doing all of my pregame habits and superstitions for extra luck) Filppula will be moved to center his line. Too bad really, Filppula, Hudler, and Samuelsson have had some great chemistry this series. I have secretly wondered if Helm could handle being on the second line a bit, especially if Toews and Kane are together. This could certainly be an interesting game, and by interesting, I mean really fucking stressful. Maybe it's a good thing I won't be watching....

I guess tonight we will find out if Ozzie will continue to be the horrible, bottom of the barrel, anything but elite goaltender who stole last game for the Wings? Damn I hope so. Will Samuelsson's shot still have the ridiculous accuracy of a cougar hunting her prey at a Scottsdale bar or will we need to warn our Canadian neighbors to be on the look out for possible wayward pucks? Will Dan Cleary continue to compete with Franzen for biggest playoff surprise? Will Maltby be rusty after a few days off, or will he be able to keep up with fast young Hawks? Will Helm still be a Hawk hunting speedy little bastard who brings a smile to Red Wing fans everywhere? And the biggest question, gulp, will Dangle Dangle play?

So sad I'm missing this game. Just hope the Wings come out with a strong forecheck and continue to push and push the Hawks. They need a split in Chicago.....pretty please.

Alright, weak pregame post, but with work, trying to get ready for the trip...blah, and the general black cloud of funk I'm under due to missing the game, my mind is not all there.

Go Wings!


  1. Randall in the PHXMay 22, 2009 at 8:30 AM

    The drive to LA from Phoenix is filled with outage spots, so be prepared. ESPN Zone at Disney Land has like a million televisions. Hell, there's even monitors above the urinals and stalls in the mens' room. I know, I've witnessed this and actually have a picture of it. At least one of them is bound to be showing the game right?

  2. "ESPN Zone at Disney Land has like a million televisions. Hell, there's even monitors above the urinals and stalls in the mens' room. I know, I've witnessed this and actually have a picture of it. At least one of them is bound to be showing the game right?"

    I hope you're right Randall. I sure as hell am not above watching the game in a bathroom...if thats what it takes. Dedication.

  3. I believe that Sunday's game is on NBC so you should be able to find it a lot easier. Safe travels and GO WINGS!

  4. "I believe that Sunday's game is on NBC so you should be able to find it a lot easier. Safe travels and GO WINGS!"

    You are absolutely right Hockeychic. Great news. I can assure you my travel companions will be much happier with my mood. Enjoy the game. Go Wings!

  5. I usually drink Jameson's as a happy whiskey but it has found a new life as a numbing agent.

    Fetal. Orifices. Leaking.

  6. Oh lord, the thought of not having Dangle Dangle makes me nauseous. I blame Drew Sharp and his stupid headline.

    ESPN Zone should carry Versus. I've watched games at the one in DisneyWorld before.

  7. HOLY SHEEEE-IT! They pulled it off didn't they. Here's a post I stole for A2Y - it's too god to not share:

    I always suspected that Coach Q. McMoustache sucked but this capped it.

    The Blackhawks had what one could call the best pre-game situation they could hope for, The Perfect Storm if you will:

    (1) Nicklas Lidstrom, the six-time Norris winner and best defenceman in the last 30 years? Out.

    (2) Pavel Datsyuk, Hart trophy nominee, the team’s leading scorer and reigning defensive forward of the year? Out.

    (3) Kris Draper? A heart-and-soul component of four cup-winners, a former Selke winner and the best faceoff man in the NHL? Out.

    (4) Motivation the Hawks could utilize to avenge the "evil Niklas Kronwall" for his “gutless” hit on their treasured teammate, Martin Havlat.

    (5) The Willis Reed-esque motivation of Havlat demanding to play despite still being a little bit woozy.

    (6) A raucous home crowd and the momentum of a miraculous overtime victory in the previous game.

    I mean...what the hell else do you want? Aside from politely asking Johan Franzen if he would mind not playing the role of Force of Nature and him actually agreeing, for reasons known only to "The Franzen," … you couldn’t ask for more.

    And then you go out and get smoked 6-1?! With all those factors in your favor?! And you have nothing to say after the game but some utterly reprehensible bullshit about “the worst call in the history of sports”?!