Friday, May 29, 2009

Oh why the hell not

Just a few quick thoughts on some of the Penguins players. While I don't have hate in my heart for them as I would for lets say the Ducks or Claude......I'm still not necessarily fond of the Penguins. And I'm sure after the Finals this year....hate or a strong dislike may develop. I'm sure subconsciously it has something to do with the fact that the league creams their panties over them all throughout the season, and Sidney Crosby is the subject of grown men's wet dreams. So while my annoyance for some of the Pens may not be fully justified I figured what the hell I've never claimed to be logical or reasonable so at this point in the season why start now.

Sidney Crosby

Now honestly, there is no denying Crosby's talent. You're obviously fucking retarded if you attempt to discount his hockey abilities. And he really is an exciting and dynamic player to watch. So in all honesty I've tried not hate him, but both he and the league make that nearly impossible. Last year his bitching, whining, and all around pussy behavior made me despise him. I'm not sure I have seen such a catty attitude outside of an all girls high school. His assurance that Zetterberg essentially making him his prison bitch during last years 5 on 3 wasn't anything special solidified him in my cum bucket category. Don't ask how you travel from bucket to rag, it's a scientific process I perfected while evaluating the Ducks. So last year to me, Crosby was kinda like the new guy in prison. The little whinny bitch who gets passed around until he learns what it's all about. This year he wanted to prove his toughness, so after his ass fisting of another guy he's probably moved up the food chain a bit but not much....I guess that sort of kinky shit works for some people...... And this year, he had a few nasty comments to make regarding Datsyuk and Lidstrom choosing to sit out of Bitchman's dog and pony show due to injuries. Really Sidney? You still want to be that immature, dirty infected queef. I tried to blame the league for your over promotion and for nearly convincing casual hockey observers you won the cup. But now I'm absolutely positive that just as much as Gary jacks off to you every night, you have your head, or fist just as far up his ass. Sad, just sad. Still no respect for your peers. Not sure he ever had a shot at not being the leagues little pussy pawn. I think it was just in the cards for Sid the Kid. He's got that shit eating, douche bag, self righteous, pedobeard, entitled look about him. I have a feeling he was the little kid the other ones would tease and pick on until he peed his nothings really changed.

Evgeni Malkin

Really have nothing against Malkin. Another great talent and fun player to watch. However I still find it rather amusing that he curled up and disappeared during last years finals....but all I can say, Wings, please keep him in check this year. For Fucks sake please keep him off the score sheet as much as possible. And not just because that will be a key to the series. But because I'm not sure I can continue to watch his parents dry hump in a huge arena. I'm all for parents cheering on their kids. And Jesus, I went to Michigan State and saw way too many drunken displays of raunchy sexuality in public places that I'm not shocked by much....but something about watching his parents, just felt dirty, who knows.

Tyler Kennedy

Yeah that's an unfortunate look he's got going on. Good thing for him he plays hockey. Imagine if he had a boring office job like the rest of us......I'm guessing he'd be that fucked up psycho coworker who clips his toenails in the office and then eats the clippings while staring at pictures of his cats. I don't know the kid seems weird. At least he'll always have his stick to love and comfort him during the long lonely summer after the Wings once again beat the Pens.....well the stick or Crosby's fist....either way

Marc Andre Fleury

Sorry but this is still fucking hilarious. Wonder if they will forgo the carpet this year. Apparently, while not in net, he has the coordination of a fat guy on a tiny bike.

Well just like a nasty case of herpes, the Pens are back. And just like before the Wings will have to pop, scratch, and burn them away. Should be an epic series and if the Wings can get some of their tops players back, should be a hell of a game on Saturday.

And be honest. If your not a Pens fan, and even if you hate the Wings with a burning passion, do you really want to watch Sidney carry the cup 112,356 times next season. At least if the Wings win, we have proof that won't happen. Just something to consider....

No comments:

Post a Comment