Tuesday, April 20, 2010

It's Called Hockey In The Valley...sigh

I've made no secret of the fact that I live in this hockey hell that is Phoenix, Arizona. When the Wings went on their post Olympic run, I hoped and dreamed they would meet Phoenix in the first round. I was selfish. I wanted to see a few playoff games live. So really, it's my own fault that I now have to deal with multiple lame attempts at taunting, having the same question asked over and over by friends and coworkers "what happened to the Wings," multiple versions of dead octopi on my desk, and ultimately, people in the valley finally learning they have a hockey team. So you'll understand why I may or may not be a little, tiny bit bitchy today.

AZ Central is one of the online news sources for Arizona. Today they had a delightful article regarding Shane Doan's injury. The article didn't irritate me really, but the comments were of the ridiculous variety. I pulled out a few of my favorites. Not sure if I should feel badly for these people, laugh at them, or bitch about them....

First Up:

Ahhh band wagon fans and playoff virgins. Clearly they have no idea how playoff injury reporting works or why a team would choose to do this.

geez, thanks for the precise injury report ... now we don't have to speculate on the location, and severity of the injury ... at least it wasn't a lower body injury, heaven forbid ..... k s a 'yotes .....

You're fucking with us right? This isn't the Mighty Ducks.

Though the Coyotes may be without it's captain this team will continue to stick together and get the job done. If it is at all possible, Tippett should have Shane behind the bench. Not to coach, but to be the captain and help push the guys to win the game.

I know in general, I'm not a warm fuzzy, person, so this one, for fucks sake. You have got to be kidding me.

Get well Captain!! You took the wall instead of the goalie, that was classy. The boys will work hard for you and hold down the fort until you can play! Your fans are proud of you and the whole team! Go Coyotes, use those boards in the Joe! :)

This commentator didn't like someone calling their "Captain" a goon. I refuse to make fun of a child...not today anyway

Goon? U R a dope!

Ahh yes, lesson one of the playoffs, always fuck with a winning lineup and put in your lesser talented players.

Glad to have Fiddler back tonight. I'd like to see one of the guys on the sideline activated for tonight (maybe Bissonette, Tikhonov, or Boedker). Those guys have been chomping at the bit and this is a good opportunity to insert one of them.

Yep. I live and work with people who have conversations like this.

It will sting the team, but I truly believe, with their PACK MENTALITY, that this will make the team even more angry, stronger, and provide even higher incentive to go and grab one for their Captain.A wounded Coyote is not a good animal to taunt.GO YOTES!!AWHHHOOOOOOOO!!

I hate that fucking wolf howl.


  1. i'll take that mantle for you...

    "Goon. YOU ARE a dope." its only a couple extra letters to type...are you that lazy and stupid? sorry...silly question, that. after all, you can't even recognize goonism! maybe you were conceived of a weak sperm. maybe your dad was jerkin' and your mom sat on it at the last possible second...
    (never skip an opprotunity to quote bill hicks!)

    anyway, my continuing sympathies for your plight, jessie. if it helps, i live where people ask me "what is a hockey?", so i'm not much better off. then again, at least they admit their ignorance here...

    don't let the fuckwads grind you down. rather, let our team do it to them for you!!
    LGRW *clap clap clapclapclap*

  2. I live in Phoenix too... my phone message system gets packed with all the "suddenly a" hockey fans rooting for the Choke-yotes filling it full of howls. Dopes.

    I don't recall seeing many Phx jerseys when they lost - I make myself into a Redwing human target if and when the Wings drop one. Gutless welps.

    Remember, Bryz already got cursed by Doan for being the "greatest goalie in the league"... that's going to come home to roost shortly - watch for the self-destruct.

    ~ Fraser guy in Phoenix

  3. i know what you're going through. although i have a quite large red wings sticker on the back window of my car, my office is filled with red wings stuff & i talk about hockey and the wings ALL THE TIME, one of my co-workers asked me "who are you cheering for" after game one like i'd all the sudden become a phoenix fan because they're in the playoffs. i get it, that's why they are all the sudden fans, but really? REALLY?!?! i mean, they can't honestly be that stupid - and then she howled at me.

    a-me in tempe (soon to be mesa)