Friday, June 19, 2009

Heh....about what I expected

So if case you haven't heard the NHL awards were last night.....hmmmmm apparently they are still letting their incredibly talented marketing team moonlight as the award event planners. Because let's be honest, this bland, vanilla, predictable show has a long way to go before it becomes entertaining.

Some random thoughts.......

Ummmm where was Sidney Crosby, the face of the NHL, the Stanley Cup winning captain....Maybe he was just running late....I say suspend him....

Ovechkin showed up in predictable style with two Vegas show girls on his arms....ummm yeah, he's lucky he's a hockey player.

Speaking of which, the king of mouth breathers is fortunate he is able to score goals because wow, under normal circumstances this would be an unevenly matched say the least.

Chaka Khan, really Gary. We don't need to hear your favorite masturbation music at the NHL award shows. If something ever screamed substandard, it's having Chaka Khan sing at your awards show, in 2009, twice.

Most of the winners were predictable. Although I was surprised that Datsyuk took home the Lady Byng. At this point he gave his best, and my favorite speech of the night. Subtle humor that was probably lost on the crowd.

Seriously, did the people there know they were watching an award show in Vegas, and not CSPAN? They had about as much energy and enthusiasm as a jilted housewife. The "claps" made me look around and see if Tiger or Phil were taking the first tee...lame, pathetic. Next time they need to have Ovechkin's show girls handing out shots at the entrance. Although despite this, Datsyuk probably got the best response from the crowd.

Notice anything off about that video montage....let me just say "Lindstom." Yep, a friend called during the show to let me know that they spelled Datsyuk's name wrong during the montage. So now the Wings proudly have two new players named Lindstrom and Datsuuk. Guess the marketing interns running the show didn't have any fact or spell checkers. Just pathetic that for 2 years in a row they were incapable of spelling a top stars name correctly...there aren't that many awards, it can't be that difficult. Ironically enough Lidstrom and Datsyuk were also the two suspended due to the All Star game cluster fuck...

I've never been a fan of Jeremy Roenick. Ever. In fact he is exactly the kind of prima donna I cannot stand. With his 1990s slicked back hair and shinny, silky shirt, I had an unnatural hope that someone would run up and Patrick Sharp his ass...well not ass but you get the point. It's obvious to anyone with a brain even the size of Chris Prongers that Roenick is angling for a broadcast job. Well little buddy, after that performance, you better hope an executive at Versus was watching incredibly drunk and finds someone fumbling over simple words and walking around like he has a hockey stick up his ass to be broadcasting excellence. Well nevermind, I take it back, they have Pierre McGuire, so Roenick sure as hell has a shot.

Despite the pathetic award show, they certainly did do something right. My favorite moment was watching Konstantinov walk out and present the Pearson Award. Now that one had to tug at even the coldest heart.


  1. Malkin's the king of mouth breathers over Green? Maybe they can rule the perpetually thirsty kingdom together.

  2. "Chaka Khan, really Gary. We don't need to hear your favorite masturbation music at the NHL award shows."

    Oh Jesus that made me laugh.

  3. I noticed the misspelling of Datsyuk's name as well. Some people think it might have just been a bad choice of font and shadowing, but either way you should have an editor or whatever notice that it looks wrong.

    Just one more thing too be annoyed with.

  4. Hmmm, where was Crosby? I mean, they were nice enough to nominate him for an award that he had NO business being nominated for... the least he could have done was shown up for the thing. I got a text that night saying he should be suspended too. Maybe he didn't get his "warning call" this time.

    Speaking of that ridiculous Mark Messier Leadership Award, is there anyone on the planet that likes himself as much as Messier does? Good God, I was surprised he was able to fit his ego into that ballroom/arena/MTV soundstage. Note to Messier: you're no long relevant. Thank you.

    PS-- Roenick is a douchebag.

  5. I half expected Messier to pick himself. And he probably originally planned to. But when Gary found out and told him he wasn't able to choose himself, Mark probably didn't pick Crosby just to spite Betteman. You know to sort of piss in his cheerios...