Thursday, March 4, 2010

They're Back??

Well Red Wing hockey has returned from a long Olympic break. And when I say "Red Wing Hockey," I of course unfortunately mean this years version of uninspired, bored, piss poor excuse for hockey. Like a bad case of gonorrhea, just when you think the problems gone (please see the Colorado game) all your symptoms (in the place of burning piss insert REALLY poor defensive play) come back at the worst time. It's the playoff hunt, do or die. Even if they wanted to bow out in the first round, I'd take it at this point, just keep the playoff streak alive. The sense of pride, honor, commitment, and hard work associated with the Winged Wheel seems to have disappeared this year. Do I still have faith it can return, sure. But with each passing "throw away" game, my hope and resolve is turning to dispare. At 24, I don't have a strong memory of the Wings not making it to the playoffs. Of course I have many memories of early playoff departures and years of disappointments. But an 18 year playoff streak is impressive in any sport. At the very least, you would think that would inspire the team.

The injuries at this point cannot be an excuse. Yes they are still attempting to adjust to new linemates and essentially a new lineup, but that does not explain the emotionless, slow moving, game they played last night.

Babcock has said, the best players need to actually, you know be the best players on the team. Last night, I thought Datsyuk, Franzen, and Zetterberg had some decent offensive moments. And yep in order to balance by good and bad karma, I said something nice.

Now onto the quick and dirty game recap. And I do mean really quick, I prefer not to relive hangovers, the flu, or moments of self inflicted torture.

  • Well I'd be a fucking idiot not to know exactly what kind of game this was going to be when Vancouver scored in the first 4 minutes. I had to reprogram myself to hate Ryan Kessler. However, I assure you, despite Kane being on team USA, the hate never died.
  • You would think Howard would like that one back. Although maybe not. I'm pretty sure during the Olympic break, Osgood kidnapped and tied Howard up in his creepy little "man shed" behind his house. During Howards imprisonment, he was forced to watch Osgoods regulars season games from last year and this year. During each bad goal, Osgood would bring in a hot stripper to do a little dance for our young Jimmy. At which time, he soon developed a Pavels dog (not that Pavel) type reaction to allowing horrible goals. This, and only this can possibly be the explanation for Jimmy's less than stellar play.
  • I had the TSN feed, and decided I could not stand listening to them say Fraaaaazen over and over again. The utter butchering of his name made me miss the vocal delights from the cast of Jersey Shore.
  • Jason Williams (yes the one I called to trade) scored an amazing goal after a great feed from Zetterberg. 2-1 Wings. False hope restored.
  • Now if this next play happened to any other team, I would have enjoyed it. Kronwall once again pinches (yeah that alone will knock the wind out of you) takes a great feed from Franzen. Attempts a Ken Daniels approved skate to stick move, but instead steps on the puck, and falls down faster than a drunk sorority girl. While doing so, he knocks over another Wing, which leads to an odd man rush and Vancouver's second goal. An entire 90 seconds after Zetterberg ties it up. Awesome.
  • But no worries, a couple other friendly Swedes come to make up for their countryman's mistake. Lilja has a nice pass to Zetterberg, who completely freezes Luongo for a beautiful goal. Hope again restored.
  • Datsyuk was a little pissy last night, which is almost as great as seeing an angry Homer. He took a roughing penalty causing a little 4 on 4 time.
  • Soon after Kyle Wellwood scores on a breakaway. Jimmy froze quicker than a guy who just saw his first real live boob.
  • At some point Kronwall over skates another pass. This one from Zetterberg. He had a horrible, horrible game. Well I guess I should clarify, according to TSN, KronVall had a horrible game. Perhaps that means KronWall took the night off. Yeah I'm going with that theory. It makes me feel better.
  • Speaking of which, everyones favorite KronVall takes a bad penalty, 4-2 Vancouver.
  • Babcock pulls Howard, and we're left with Ozzie. Again, awesome.
  • Best part of the night, and by best part I mean a kick to the balls, Samulesson gets a shot on net and scores.
  • Kessler scores ANOTHER goal after ANOTHER KronVall penalty.
  • At this point I was done. Watching a rerun of the Bad Girls club was less painful. Game ends 6-3.
And there you have it folks. A tremendous effort from a team fighting for a playoff spot. Sigh. Not sure what can help at this point. But in order to maintain the sanity I have left, and because as a die hard Wings fan it's my obligation, I'm holding out hope they can turn this around. And yes I understand how delusional that sounds.


  1. Wasn't that Pavlov's dogs? Or did they like simplify the name for the American people :P

    Shit game, bummed me out, so I gave up during the second period. And you are 110% right on Fraaaanzen. It's Franzén and the é is meant to be the one you emphasise

  2. Yes I made a poor attempt at humor (I guess humor??) when I began writting this post at 5am. It sounded funny calling it Pavels dogs..didn't translate. I blame lack of sleep and general frustration ;)

    Anyway,I'm with you, I gave up last night. Although If you made it to the second period you lasted longer than many of the Wings!

  3. I hate KronVall. I hope that KornWall took his evil, puck-stepping, bad penalty taking, bizzaro brother out to back alley behind JLA and snapped his neck in 3 places.

  4. @Nightmare on Helm Street, just 3 places? After last nights performance I would recommend 4, possibly 5 places for good measure. We don't want KronVall making another appearance this year. One struggeling Swede is enough.

  5. I did make it through the whole game last night, though I took a LONG break between the second and third periods (I was DVR'ing it). As soon as the Canucks scored their second goal, I knew this was one of those games we were bound and determined to lose no matter what.

    Totally with you on the playoff streak - I don't really believe the "no one wants to meet us in the first round" stuff anymore, but it would be nice to keep that streak alive.