Wings 5, Blackhawks 4, Pierre can suck it

Holy hell that was a hockey game. Well the last two periods certainly were. Not sure what was taking place during the first, but I was glad I took Jennbikegirl's advice and had a little Irish coffee with my breakfast. And double points for me being able to keep it down despite the fact that NBC mentioned Crosby's name numerous times before the puck even dropped. Yes fuck you Gary, after practice, patience, and Tai chi, I am able to tolerate that dip shit. You can't keep this girl down.

Anywho, as per the tradition, below are my thoughts, theories, and general bitchiness regarding the game:

• Edzo, Eddie O, or whatever douche approved nickname you can think of stated that if the Wings lose this game they don't make the playoffs. Exactly the kind of astute analysis I expect from an NBC broadcast.
• Soon after Pierre starts discussing the free agent deflections, blah blah blah, it's March, shut the fuck up. I'm pretty sure the NBC crew has a strick formula to follow each game. Possibly something like this, Crosby, Crosby, Crosby, Deflections, Crosby, Injuries, Crosby, Crosby, the end of the Red Wing era, Crosby, and finally Pierre gets off his knees and wipes his mouth. Far too predictable.
• So at this point, I'm annoyed with NBC, I needed to "adjust" the Irish coffee, and I was seriously concerned with the way the Wings came out. To make matters worse Duncan Keith scores and Pierre crowns him the new Nick Lidstrom. Excuse me but I was unaware that the court jester/ ass clown, was able to crown royalty. I must have missed that in Gary's "Fuck the NHL" manifesto. Because later, in all his brilliant wit, the douche canoe crowns Datsyuk the King of larceny. Something about him is just so damn creepy.
• Despite the win, Jimmy Howard had another rough night. His rebound control, was non existent. I'm hoping he just needs some time to adjust from the long break. I'm anxiously awaiting the return of young James.
• Filppula had a very uncharacteristic giveaway directly leading to Chicago's second goal. Had Lebda done the same thing, my new neighbors would probably have overheard some new and exciting swear words.
• It was a rough first period for the Wings. I felt like everyone was standing around waiting for a pass. No one was moving their feet or getting to the open ice. Despite being down 2 goals, the urgency was nonexistent.
• And if things weren't gloomy enough, if all the bunnies and unicorns hadn't already given us the middle finger while skipping away, Zetterberg appeared to be playing hurt. Something was off and he looked to be in pain. Dammit, just what they need.
• In the second period a controversial no goal call finally goes the Wings way, and as usual it caused an entire momentum shift. The game could have been 3-0 but instead the Red Wings took over.
• The Wings score 5, yes 5 bitches, unanswered goals in the second period. Great effort. Rafalski was in Olympic form on the first goal, Lidstrom with his Norris Trophyesque shot scored the second, Williams with the third, and Filppula redeemed himself with the fourth goal.
• Todd Bertuzzi, everyone's favorite potential, yes potential, serial killer was involved in 3 of the goals. Great game for him. Well until he was awkwardly hit by Eager while already falling down from a previous check. Babcock said he had a charlie horse, but we all know he lies to us, and while we like this, it does render his injury reports about as useful as Pronger during a math test. I'm hoping it wasn't his knee, but it certainly didn't look good.
• My favorite moment of the game had to be when Datsyuk stole the puck from 20 cents and scored a beautiful goal on the breakaway. Not only did that goal encompass all the things that make Datsyuk, well Dangle Dangleish, but I cannot stand Patrick Kane. I place him in the same douche class as Ryan Getzlaf and Mike Green. I imagine he would be the type of guy to walk up to you and throw out this kind of line "I don't know if you know this, but I'm kinda a big deal. I have many leather bound books." He has that mantra playing over and over again in his head. His daily manifesto if you will. Which makes Datsyuk's game winning goal that much more satisfying.
• The third period starts out with Kane, Toews, and Hossa on the same line. Honestly that made me a bit nervous. Especially with the Wings seeming to sit back and hope to hold onto the lead.
• Franzen already had the classic mouth guard incident of 2009, so keeping up with his hysterical tradition, he had a nice dive call late in the third. Thanks for keeping a stressful situation light.
• Chicago manages to come up with 2 more goals in the third. Ladd of course had a hat trick. And you know what, Lidstrom didn't piss his pants while whining about all the hats on the ice. Because unlike the face of the NHL, the Red Wings captain has class. With a capital C.
• KronWall returned, welcome back, and had a much better game. Even stopping a goal while Jimmy was flopping around like a drunk stripper at the tale end of a 12 hour shift.
• Datsyuk ended up taking a shot off his foot. He went to the bench in pain. I doubled over in fear. Luckily he came back out, but we've all watched enough hockey, especially this season, to know as soon as he takes his skate off, and tomorrow rolls around, we could all be experiencing the shakes and cold sweats. I'm holding out hope for both him and Bertuzzi.

Despite a weak first period, and sitting back in the third, the Wings managed to hold onto the win. It was a big game for them because quite frankly they needed the 2 points. They are now one behind Nashville and have a four point game against Calgary coming up. They've won 4 of their last 5 games, and quite frankly I'm sick of standings watching and analyzing, because I suck at it. Great game. Let's go Wings.