Oh He's Out There

So there is a douche on the loose in Phoenix. I know nothing about him accept that he drives a black car and has a Pens87 licence plate. So yes, enough said. I've seen the car around the area where I work a couple times. Unfortunately since I have the reflexes of a drunk 89 year old man who forgot to take his daily does of Cialis, I've never been able to get a clear picture. But just like Big Foot, I assure you he's out there. So while I condone a Pens87 license plate as much as I encourage a Mike Green fauxhawk, it did at least get me thinking. I began to contemplate what a personalized plate should be for some of our favorite Red Wings. And since I am anything but creative, feel free to offer up any other suggestions.

Jimmy Howard= Jimmah, and yes he's secure enough to have this license plate.

Darren Helm = The Kill, or Third Shorty, enough said.

Johan Franzen = FeedMe, I was going to go with Gigolo in honor of his amazing 1970s inspired mustache, but I was afraid of the possible legal and PR ramifications.

Pavel Datsyuk = Dr. Dangler, screw Dr. Ramani and his eye institute for replacing the best spokesman since Billy Mayes.

Jonathan Ericsson = HideUrGF, Voox over at A2Y has already described Ericsson's powers of fertility, so this is just a friendly warning to the men of Michigan to hide their girl friends.

Todd Bertuzzi = Reaper, because unibomber may raise some flags on the terror watch list.

Tomas Holmstrom = #1Stunna, because who else is as much of a pimp as Homer and his Swenglish

Brett Lebda = Baller, because you know he walks around with swagger he doesn't have.

Andres Lilja = BadAss, again enough said.

Jason Williams = BigJWilly, I'm pretty sure this is how he fancies himself and anything that reminds of a Will Smith song is awesome.

Chris Osgood = STFU BABS, I think the hate runs deep in our friend Chris. This may be too PG for him.

Derek Meech = 4RealAWing, just because I'm not sure people always believe him.

Niklas Kronwall = Kronwalled, because honestly, what else could it be?

Niklas Lidstrom = Mr. Norris, only an acceptable choice because he would be appalled by such a moniker

Drew Miller = ThisBuds4U, just because Miller Time is too predictable. He likes to keep people guessing. And an appropriate/ ironic spokesman choice.

Valterri Filppula = Fierce, and nothing more, because who else has a head of sun in damaged hair like everyone's favorite Finn?


Justin Abdelkader, SpartyOn, yes I know he's currently playing with the Griffins, but as an MSU alumnus he had to be included on the list.

Dan(minus the ny) Cleary = JustDanPls, I'm sure Pierre McGuire calling him Danny has forced him to seek the assistance of a therapist and witch doctor to overcome the night terrors.