Friday, December 25, 2009

A Very Merry Christmas Present

Merry belated Christmas. I Hope that everyone had a wonderful holiday with their family and friends. And a special thank you for stumbling upon this random and often ridiculous blog. Posting has been light as I've been back in Michigan spending the holiday with my family. Ahhh yes I'm back in the motherland. And it was certainly an interesting flight with the usual delays and some creepy old man asking me if I wanted to sit on his lap and tell Santa what I wanted for Christmas....Oh Christmas at the airport....but aside from that a great time with family and friends.

And apparently the Wings have a little belated Christmas present for us as well. Oh yes. Filppula is scheduled to come back tomorrow. Fantastic. Detroit's own N'Sync looking, Sun-in worshiping, center will be back. Tomorrow you can see his golden locks flowing in the pregame warm-up. Finally, they get someone back. It feels weird just typing that.

I'll be at the game tomorrow hoping for a win against the BJs.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The Obstructed View, Episode 2

Episode two of the Obstructed View is now up. This week it's the Chief from Able to Yzerman, George from Snapshots, and myself. Yes I'm well aware that luck of the draw put me with two of the best. I certainly tried my hardest not to sound like a complete idiot.....hopefully my mission was accomplished.

The NSFW podcast covered a wide range of topics including the Chicago game and 'creatively' finding any and every opportunity to use the word dick. Which was uncomfortable for me since I really hate swearing. If you have virgin ears as well you may have to ear muff it at times.

Definitely a fun experience and the first time that I realized my voice sounds like a prepubescent boy. Really hate to fucking listen to myself ramble on, but anyway check it out.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Hawks 3, Griffins 0

Yeah, yeah, the Hawks beat a terribly depleted Red Wings team. Congratulations. Enjoy it. Celebrate it, when in reality they should be pissed the fuck off. Instead every Hawks fan should be wondering why they didn't beat the Griffins by 10 goals. Because all we keep hearing is what a powerhouse they are. How much better they are.

And yet with the Wings down 8 starters including their future captain, the only reason the Hawks even won by 3 is because regular season Ozzie was in net. Oh that's right. After last playoffs I promised I wouldn't doubt Osgood, but then he plays like that.

Check out D4L for my full game recap. I wrote it immediately following the game so it may have been a bit harsher than I had intended. In reality I'm mostly just angry with Ozzie and Leino.

Sigh. I'm counting down the days for the Wings to heal. Because when they do, after what they have been through, the fuckers in Chicago and everywhere else will have a pissed off, feisty, hard working Red Wing team to contend with. And I'm not sure anyone will be able to contain them.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Happy Friday Fuckers

Apparently Zetterberg will be out a minimum of 2 weeks with a "slightly" separated shoulder.

Ohlund has now become the second most hated person in Sweden after the whore fucker Tiger Woods.

The hits keep coming. As I said last night, we are on 3 sets of 3, so it has to be coming to a close. And shut up, I didn't jinx anything because at this point it's just not possible.

On a side note, anyone who thinks Babcock is a sub par coach can suck a dick. The fact that they are even holding on to a playoff position speaks volumes of the players dedication and heart, Babcocks talent, and the fact that Holland is a fucking genius for holding strong on Jimmy, and picking up Miller and Eaves. I tip my hat (not a fedora) to you sir.

Hopefully someone in the media covering the Wings will pull their head out of their ass long enough to give us additional updates on Zetterbergate. You know like will the janitor or the concession stands employee be called up to center the 4th line.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

No, No, That Did Not Just Happen

I feel like screaming to the hockey gods, alright we get it. Alright the Wings and their fans have been tested, can you lay the fuck off. Enough. But I know it would be fruitless. Perhaps they drank the Koolaid that Gary's been passing out. Who knows.

All we know for sure is Zetterberg is injured and Ohlund is persona non grata in Sweden.

The hits just keep coming. They used to say in threes, but for the Wings, their at 9. So that's 3 sets of 3. Can we be done now?

Head over to D4L to see my full game recap.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Well that was entertaining

I know that everyone and there mother (mine included) has already seen this, but I still feel it warrants posting.

Some man with a Kevin Federline rejected fedora and a sad excuse for a pinky ring decided to attack the Chief completely unprovoked. Not liking the response he received, he then decided to attack the city of Detroit, and the state of Michigan and all those affected by both the auto industry and the down turn of the economy. He seems to feel those working in a factory are simply beneath him and his high level of "intelligence." Perhaps it would be pertinent if he also realized that when the main industry upholding a state begins to collapse, others outside of those plants and that industry may also be affected. So in my opinion he can suck a Richard.

Anyway, the little man with the little pinky ring decided to throw his fedora in with the big boys and he didn't like the response. I equate the situation to the following. Witnessing the ugly girl with a slight mustache and breast envy making fun of the popular girl in school because, well, she's popular. The popular girl didn't do anything to her, never spoke to her, she simply has more friends and greater notoriety, and it chaps the little girls ass. So when the popular girl walks into the locker room, over hears the bitchiness and mindless rants of the mustached one, a battle ensues. And as always, the shit talker decides they don't like the heat and will pretend to be suddenly above it all.

Apparently this all started with Kevin Federline's desire to get credentials for all his fellow bloggers and in the process decided the Chief is the sole reason for this failure. While my opinion doesn't matter I'll share it anyway. There are a number of reasons that the NHL won't give many bloggers credentials, and it's certainly not because some people are biased fans who favor the word bitches. Myself personally, I would have no business walking into the locker room and attempting to whip up a story. None. My lack of training and lack of creativity would essentially turn out the same recap as if I just watched the game at home. Would most bloggers be able to dig deep and find the "real" story, I don't know. I imagine my conversation would go something like this:

Me: So (insert any Red Wing/Griffin player) what do you think of the whole Tiger Woods debacle? (Yes that is how deep I would probably go)

Red Wing/Griffin player: Well I think we played a tough game. We worked on making the simple plays and grinding hard in the corners, it just wasn't going in for us.

Me: No, No, that's not what I asked. We just found out that Tiger Woods is a dirty whore fucker despite the fact that he has a hot Swedish model wife, you're thoughts on what his next move should be?

Red Wing/Griffin player: We just need to keep playing our game. This is both an experienced team with strong veteran's and good energetic kids. Keep grinding hard and the wins will come

Me: Oh fuck it. I'm going to the bar.

Now I'm not saying that all bloggers would be as shallow or unqualified as myself. In the Wings blogosphere there are many who would probably get a fantastic story. The Chief for one, Tyler at the Triple Deke would probably discover something that would leave me embarrassed after wetting my pants, Matt at On the Wings, Animal Drew, and the list of Wings bloggers goes on. I'm sure they would do a fantastic job. But not bloggers across the league. The NHL is at fault for making a blanket policy but don't blame a different writing style or a different opinion on why Jim Bob can't get his credentials. If someone wants press credentials, put in the time and work and show you deserve them.

Stepping off soap box. At the very least, Kevin gave us an interesting day on the internet.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Karma can be a nasty bitch with a long memory

Or in Shane Doan's case, a short memory.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, I can't decide at this point, I missed most of the first period. I walked in with about 4 minutes left and was shocked to see the score at 2-1, Wings. I rejoiced. I laughed, I smiled, and I frantically tried to get my laptop to cooperate in order to see just who scored, Bertuzzi? Zetterberg? Datsyuk? Draper?

Oh no my friends, imagine my shock when I looked at the box score and saw that Newbury scored the Wings first goal. That tattooed fucker was making a splash just when the Wings needed it most. And the second goal was less surprising, but still another role player, Patrick Eaves. Normally I wouldn't mention this out of fear or a gypsy jinx, but at this point perhaps jinxing the Wings will actually counteract the black magic that is currently taking place. You know a double negative. So here we go, Patrick Eaves seems to be another cast aside reclamation project for the Wings. The guy wasn't even supposed to be playing and look at the impact his energy alone brings, fantastic.

So while basking in the 2-1 lead with the first period coming to an end, I go to the A2Y live blog and see the news that makes me feel as though someone smacked me in the face with a giant dildo. Ericsson is out with a knee injury. Mother fucker. Are you fucking kidding me? Past injuries caused me to experience the typical stages of grief. Oh believe me I begged and bartered with baby Jesus. But this time. Numbness. Nothing. I expected it, just as I expect to see Leino and Lebda play like two eunuchs. Apparently I'm hearing its a sprain and he'll be out a couple of weeks. I'm reserved. Kindle will perhaps be brought up.

The injury was a result of a knee to knee collision with Shane Doan. Not a dirty play, but what was whorish was the laughter apparently Shane had immediately following Ericsson's injury. I always Knew he was a bitch. Living in Phoenix I have seen my fair share of Coyotes games (yes you can pity me later) and I have never understood why people think Doan is such a fantastic player. The term Overrated was created for players just like him. And for fucks sake, he has the most obnoxious fan cheer ever. Say it with me in a deep creepy voice saved for serial killers and Todd Bertuzzi, DOOOOOOOOOAN. Yep. Constantly. At every game. Probably even if he weren't playing. Coyote fans are smart like that. So when he took a random puck to the face soon after his ass whole behavior. I smiled. I giggled. I relished in his pain. Baby Jesus, Santa, and the Easter Bunny all got together to give us a small gift. To let us know they understand that the hockey gods and the Tooth Fairy (I'm convinced that bitch is against us too) are being unjust.

Anyway, below are the defensemen left:


In some ways it's easier to list the players still here than it is to remember all of the injuries.

Because look at the fucked up injury list below:



Holy shit is right. My attention span isn't even long enough to type all of those names.

Sigh. Below are some short random thoughts about the game:

  • The Wings three goal scorers were Newbury, Eaves, and Meech. And the fact that I was not surprised at all that our top players didn't score, made me a little sad, and yet proud that the Wings can still get it done.
  • Apparently Matt Stafford likes hockey and showed up to the game. I'm pretty sure no one in attendance knew who the hell he was
  • Did Leino play in the first two periods? Honestly? The only reason I know he was present in the third was because Babcock had him out in the last minute which I can only assume was to build his confidence. Too bad Leino failed to control the puck multiple times giving the Coyotes even more opportunities
  • At some point late in the second, a Wing (or a Griffin) went down kinda sorta hard at center ice. Normally, I would not have given it a second thought. This season, I cringed.
  • Maltby had some good opportunities. Played a solid energy game.
  • The beginning of the first (so I hear) the second, and the third, the Wings controlled the tempo, had good energy and fought hard against the boards. At the end of each period they seemed to sit back hoping to hold onto the lead. Painful to watch yet still a good effort overall.
  • The Bertuzzi, Datsyuk, and Homer line looked very good
  • Where the hell did this Red Wings PK came from? Is it the same place the PP is hiding?
  • Howard had another great game which earned him the start on Thursday

Overall a solid game by a depleted Wings team. They fought hard, had good energy, and were able to grind out a win. 3 in a row now, and the first in three games without a Bertuzzi goal.

Just a weird, weird season. But you have to admire their drive and effort. What other team could do this?

Monday, December 14, 2009

Oh for Fucks Sake

Let's see if I can remember all the names. I'm asking someone out there with a little creativity if they can come up with a song or a riddle so we can keep track of everyone. We certainly don't want to leave anyone out. Because in all honesty, there have been a large number of injuries across the league this year, but has any other team sustained the long term injuries to top players like the Wings have?


That's right, apparently HELM of all fucking people is out with a wrist injury. And while injury is now my least favorite word, the Helm debacle is accompanied with my second least favorite word, indefinitely.

Wonderful. As if Monday morning isn't reason enough to snap and bitch at people. I can assure you this bit of news will only make my sun shinny personality that much brighter.

Apparently Newbury is being called up. I'll be honest, since most of the Grand Rapids roster is with the Wings this year, I haven't followed the Griffins much. According to Matt at OTW he has tattoos and 19 points. All I know, there is no way in Hell he's faster than Helm, and that makes me feel deflated. When does this shit end? Oh and in case you were concerned, Lebda, still 100%. Yes it works like that. Fuck.

Well of course

Of course freakin Todd Bertuzzi decides he does in fact remember how to play hockey and has two clutch games on the one weekend where I am unable to watch either. I feel like I missed out and was left out of so much. Similar to missing the first time your grandma called someone a fucking cunt while participating in some serious road rage. You heard it happened, people you trust said it's true, but something just feels weird and dirty about it.

Todd Bertuzzi, 4 goals, in two games, including his two OT game winners?? With the way this weekend turned out, next I'll hear that Brett Lebda isn't a total waste of roster space and Meech scores 3 unassisted goals in one game...curly fries for everyone.

Anyway, it seems as though (knock on wood, rub a lucky rabbits foot) the Wings made it through the weekend with 4 points and no serious injuries. Sure there was a puck to the face, some stitches, but aside from them, it was a Gary nightmare.

Congrats to the Wings on what sounded like a fantastic effort. Tonight they play the Coyotes. A Team that used to make me giggle and the only entertaining factor was trying to guess how many times The Great Ones head would explode like a teenagers raging backne. However, apparently now they're all competitive and shit at the top of the Western Conference. And despite the fact that this next sentence is as weird to write as two Todd Bertuzzi game winners, this will be a good challenge for the Wings. If work permits, hoping to have a pregame some time this afternoon.

Until then, enjoy The Obstructed View. Ahhh yes that's right, Chris Hollis from Motown Wings and Brian Kiernicki are the talented masterminds behind this new weekly Red Wings podcast. Thank them. Repeatedly. As someone who struggles with the 'intricacy's' of the blogger website I can't imagine the time and effort that went into this. Thanks guys.

Each week will be a different set of Wings bloggers. First up is Michael Patrella from The Production Line, Kris from Snipe Snipe Dangle Dangle, and Casey from Winging it in Motown.

Next week is myself, The Chief, and George. Yes it's true, I was scheduled to go next week in order to bring the intelligence and analytical level down by at least 30 percent. I'll try my best not to come off as even more of a jackass.

Anyway, enjoy the podcast and I hope to be back with more this afternoon.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

What The Fuck

Dan Cleary out 4 weeks with a separated shoulder.

Feel like crawling in a whole and telling the world to just fuck off??

Well Leino is back in the lineup despite still deserving to sit on the bench. I'm sure he's all fired up and ready to bring his own special brand of suck back for at least 4 weeks....

I'm too bitchy and shouldn't even be posting at this point.

Hey Tatar is doing well with the Griffins....bring him up. My sister who watches a large number of Griffins games, claims he's been consistent all season. There is no way he could be worse....right?

I'm sure it's a joke

Alright haha....last night, this season, the injuries, one big fucking joke right? At any moment the essence of douchness, Ashton Kutcher will jump out from behind a snow mound, and let all of us know we've been punked. Sure it will probably be a big joke and a stubby middle finger to the Wings and their fans from Gary, but I'd gladly take that, because if that's not the case, I've run out of things to say.

Posting has been non existent lately thanks to both work and life deciding to simultaneously kick my ass...yes it's delightful. But hopefully things will begin settling down now, and I will be back to regular posting.

In my opinion, last night can be summed up with one thought, Howard played well, fucking Conk block played better, and the rest of the Wings were about as motivated as a jilted housewife. Wonderful. Not a horrible effort but certainly an uninspired one. And to think, I had hopes of them fully clinching the 8th seed of the Western Conference. Damn you cruel cruel world, have you no mercy?

Oh I had thoughts about the game. Quite a few. But their lackluster performance and the Dan Clearly clusterfuck only inspired me enough to note the following:

  • The Blues are in fact as intelligent as they look. They may even be giving Colin Campbell as serious run for a Mensa spot. Somehow last night they forgot they were supposed to wear white on the rode. (and on a side note I still don't fucking understand why they took white away from the home team. I think Gary just likes to poke and fuck something because he know like the crazy little kid down the road that burns ants with the sun and a magnifying glass) So after the pregame skate the Wings had 10 minutes to fully dress in the white uniforms. Seems kinda shitty. Mick was particularly disappointed as he personally felt blue and red looked pretty together....very sweet
  • Who the fuck is in charge of the it the same person who was previously running the the PK. We need names to send the angry mob after.
  • Mick was in fine form tonight. I'm pretty sure between the officiating, the injuries, and the overall potential for a clusterfucky (yes thats a word) season he is going to shit his pants at some point. Part of Daniels job description should be strapping a diaper on Mick and having some sort of sedative immediately handy...In all honesty that should be a requirement for all Wings fans.
  • I like Eaves on the PK
  • With Kronwall out (tears of sadness still falling) Stuart has stepped up his fantastic play even more this season. He seems to work really well with Howard and anticipate exactly where Jimmy is going to aim his rebounds. So when he took a shot off his foot, I cringed and vomited.
  • It's no secret I was a huge Conklin fan last year. Talented, yet cheap. But all season he seemed reserved and quite. Last night not so much. He was certainly giving it to Bertuzzi all night...and how did Bert answer, he continuously missed the net. He really is a bitch and I hate him.
  • Speaking of Conklin, while shooting the puck around the net, he high sticked May. Despite May bleeding everywhere, there was no penalty. The ref claimed it was because he was in the process of firing the puck. Ashton you bastard you're fucking with me again aren't you? Since when is that the rule? When? You always have to have control of your stick...well if you play for the Wings you do. Anyway, Murph in a typical drunken stupor decided to attempted to share the refs explanation with Ken and Mick. They were having none of it and engaged into some sort of school girl no, yes, no, yes fight. While a passed out Murph was being escorted home for the night, I hope someone checked around to make sure Mickey wasn't hiding somewhere in the hopes of administering some 'old school' punishment....don't shoot the messanger.
  • Ericsson, where the fuck did the kid from last year go? The 6'5'' beast that sent terror through other teams....has now become a 4'8'' little boy afraid of his own shadow. I blame Lebda. Lebda did this to him. Hell Lebda's own dog feels inadequate just from living with that fucker. Although in Ericssons defense he did make a nice centering pass in front of his OWN net during the Blues power play. Golf claps and finger snaps.
  • Desperation kicked in at one point, well that or Ken and Mickey got ahold of Murphy's moonshine flask, and they decided the Wings new strategy for the night should be to make Conklin change out his stick because it had blue tape instead of the required white tape.....yes they even looked up the rule to confirm. It was one of those nights.
  • Wings got on their collective knees and blew a 5 on 3. Congrats, not everyone can do that.
  • Abby's line had some good scoring chances.
  • Lidstrom hit the post...Twice.

But the real news of the night, Dan Cleary sustained an upper body injury (looked like his head to me) thanks to Jackman nearly blind siding him. Wonderful. According to the Chief's post, Holland believes he will be out for some time. Now I'll do a recap of the injuries, just because this gets confusing. Lilja, Franzen, Filppula, Williams, Kronwall, and now Cleary. Throw in Rafalski and Eaves and yeah. Fuck me. I guess Leino will be back in the line up. Sure both Cleary and Leino haven't been producing to the level their talent warrants, but at least Cleary creates opportunities for his linemates. At least he goes hard into the corners. And he doesn't look like a crazed serial killer ready to eat puppies and my dog is less at ease when Leino is on the ice. Interesting 2 fucking crazy looking bastards on one team and they both play like its the ice capades....