Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Holy Hell That Was a Hockey Game

Ignoring the first period near ass raping, and as the saying goes, close only counts in horse shoes, hand grenades, and anal cavities, the Wings played some fantastic hockey.

I'm racking my short term memory (possibly forever damaged by this season) to remember a time when the Wings played such a complete, game. The PK looked strong, the PP emerged from it's hiding place (conveniently located under Murph's secret stash of bulk size Kirklands vodka), the flying circus was posed and in control. Dare I say that despite the first two softie goals, the Wings took that game by the balls.

Work is kicking my booty today, so this will be short. Below are a few random thoughts about the game:

  • Being on the West Coast, I'm forced to watch the majority of the games on Center Ice. So when I am blessed with the FSD feed, I often serenading the hockey gods. And no unlike Mike Green I choose something a little more appropriate than "I'm so pretty." But last night, the feed appeared to be circa 1997. I half expected to Murph slur "I'm ready, put me in coach."
  • Speaking of FSD, that damn April in the D promotion is back. The only way that it may be tolerable is if the guys from The Triple Deke, Andy from Fight Night and the Joe, and Herm team up for a multinational clusterfuck submission.
  • For fucks sake, Homer was on fire last night. Amazing. It was as if that little butt nugget Lebda never broke his foot. He had two assists and nearly as many goals. I'm pretty sure he's been drinking out of the same fountain of youth that's revived Draper. And no I don't mean Leino's young tears of dispair and anguish.
  • Last night on the A2Y live blog, JJ from Kansas mentioned that Filppula looks like a young Datsyuk. Exactly. The way he held onto the puck along the boards and in tight spaces, while still making huge plays is very Dangle Dangleish in nature. He's much stronger than he looks and a great play maker. Fantastic game for everyones favorite bleach blonde Finn.
  • With the game tied 2-1, I was still in the "please, please don't make me shit my pants quicker than the new inmate" mode. So when the Wings went on the PP, I made some off handed bitchy comment about wishing they would never go on the PP again because they seem more confused and disjointed than a guy attempting to unhook his first bra...and as I was bitching, Zetterberg shut me the hell up. And they ended up converting on 2 of 6 chances. I hope Babcock puts some sort of GPS on the PP. They can't lose it again.
  • Maltby had some nice moves in the second. Hey, did you guys know he was a 50 goal scorer in Juniors?
  • Meech had the winning goal. Yes dammit, I said Meech. Lebda take note you little turd.
  • And Eaves got the forth after brilliant efforts by both Helm and Rafalski. Just a great play. My words won't do it justice. But the hearts of male Red Wing fans across the world are dancing with puppies, rainbows, and unicorns, while swimming in a river of Joe Thornton tears every time they think of Helm and Eaves...

The only downside to last night was the Kronwall incident. In the first my ulcer started bleeding when I saw Kronwall flopping around like a drunken toddler. If there was ever a time where peeing your pants would be cool, that was it. But apparently as everyone, and my grandma has already pointed out, his blade fell off (the jokes write themselves). The MVP of the first period, would definitely be the equipment guys who were handing him a new skate faster than a guy at a bar buys a pretty girl a drink.

Too bad the gods decided to shit on us, and Kronwall tweaked something. Ankle, knee, toe, it doesn't really matter. He's out for AT LEAST the Anaheim game. Who knows for how much longer. What were the fucking chances of that happening.

As a result, the giant Swede will be back in to night and I hope, like Stella, the Wings got their groove back.


  1. Well written Ms. Hotty voice.

    Now how the fuch does this thing unhook?

    I've made my love of Fil known for a while now, designating him my official ManCrush and all. But I don't think he'll ever have the pure dangle of Dats. But Chief once said that he sees 51 and sometimes, amidst a PBR/ Cheddar induced stupor, thinks he sees 91. I think that's right. He doesn't have the pure skating ability of Fedorov but the complete game is blossoming beautifully.

    Personally, I think he'll win a few Selke trophies before his career is over. Maybe a few Lady Bings too.

  2. Osrt, you may have been one of the first to have a true man crush on Filppula. You waited through the years where he was under appreciated and possibly overshadowed. And now, he's having a great season and has come back strong after the whole broken wrist thing.

    I suspect we will begin to hear repeatedly how snake bit he is, but with the way he's playing, he will score sooner than later.

    As you said, I see a few Selkes in his future. Another great find by the Wings.

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