Thursday, February 4, 2010

Holy Goalie Batman...

Alright we get it. Any team with Getzlaf and Perry can only sanely be classified as a collection of shit licking douchbags. But do their television announcers have to be so fucking annoying as well? Seriously, during the course of that slow motion murder of dreams, us poor bastards forced to endure the Duck's feed, were treated to the gems "holy goalie Batman" and "coast to coast like butter toast" and something about Datsyuk riming the puck or stick, something. I don't know. Even for a late night broadcast, it was inappropriate. But seriously, I'm not 5 (although clearly they believe their core audience has the combined mentality of a 5 year old) and I sure as hell don't appreciate watching a hockey broadcast with a script modeled after a Dr. Seuss book. For fucks sake, give me an incoherent drunken Murph any day. If that weren't bad enough I'm pretty sure the creepy little guy on the left hand side of the screen was attempting to eye fuck us all night long. I woke up feeling used and dirty this morning...we didn't even get a free drink out of it. Bastard. Where are his manners?

Sigh, anyway, sure the broadcast sucked, but I'm really just full of the bitchies this morning for a couple of reasons.

1. The Wings played with the intensity and speed of a drunken and stoned donkey
2. Gary Bettman and his circus of ass clowns

I took notes and points I wanted to make about last nights game. Oh I did. More than a few about the absurdity of Ericsson having to fight to defend himself after a good clean hit. About how I'm not ashamed that I woke up from a night terror out of fear that this morning we would find out another big Swede hurt himself due to a poorly timed fight. I had a whole section about how much I still can't stand Williams and was going to rationally, but probably irrationally suggest the Wings dump his 1.5 million dollar salary. Fuck his right handed shot on the PP.

But instead I'm too irritated to go into details. I'm confused by how the Wings could play so well and with such poise against the top league in the conference, but drop into the fetal position and forfeit a win to Getzlaf and his band of pretty pussys. I don't get it. The emotion as Babcock would say was missing.

But more than anything, I'm confused by how the Gary and his joke of a league can have more goals this season against the Wings alone, than Leino has against 29 other teams? It's pathetic. Please, someone, I am too lazy and pissed to figure this out, but how many goal controversies has there been this season alone? The fact that I cannot name them off the top of my head means there are far too many. Sure, the Wings still lost the game, but a 2-1 game sets a completely different tone than a 3-1 game. George over at Snapshots has a much better write up with video. Perhaps I should create a chart plotting the dates and games the league butt fucked the Wings. I'll even use little pictures of asses....I'll put the effort in.

Sigh, It's time for me to step away from the computer now. All I can say is, Gary suck on a herpes infected dick. Time to readjust and re-enforce my tin foil hat.

1 comment:

  1. They were absolutely awful. But the good news is that they got Vesa Toskala for Giggy. So the hockey gods might just be listening after all.