Monday, November 30, 2009

A Helm, Miller, Cleary, and Bertuzzi night?

Well Happy belated Thanksgiving all. Posting was non existent this past weekend as I was in Michigan visiting family and friends. But now I'm back in Arizona and apparently the Wings are back as well.

When I first turned on the TV and heard that Eaves would be out because he hit a rut during practice and injured his ankle I immediate assumed that tonight would be Marty's second win ever against the Wings during the regular season. (and yes, holy hell that was a run on sentence.) Luckily Turco is the essence of a Wings bitch and in some complicated galactic math equation, Detroit's ability to strip him of any small shred of dignity over and over again outweighs their ridiculous amount of injuries and misfortune....for one night anyway.

Many people said that last Saturday's game was a turning point for the Wings. And I certainly hope they're right because quite frankly watching their play during the end of November was about as enjoyable as having your eye brows plucked out one by one what receiving a lap dance from a greased up and glittery Pierre Mcguire.

Below are a few of my random thoughts on the Wings 4-1 victory over the Stars:

  • Howard's strong play on Saturday earned him the start tonight. Well that and quite frankly I think Babcock enjoys torturing Ozzie. If he could he would shove bamboo shoots up his finger nails....during the regular season at least

  • So anyway since Howard was starting they of course showed his team picture. It was the first time I noticed this but he certainly has a creepy fucking picture. Just look at it.

For some reason only known to him, baby Jesus, and Santa, he decided to give the camera fuck me eyes. Damn Tyra would be proud.

  • Zetterberg had a strong game and some good chemistry with the allusive Ville Leino. At one point early in the first Zetterberg had a nice flip pass to Leino, Leino went back to Zetterberg and one half of the Euro twins had a scoring opportunity with a backhand shot.

  • Detroit for some reason only had 4 men on the ice for a period of the time in the first. I was pretty afraid that one Mick was going to shat his pants out of utter confusion and frustration and two that Murph in a drunken stupor would step on the ice as the fifth skater. This would cause the Wings to take 2 double minor penalties and five licks of the paddle which would be personally administered by Gary to every player on the roster.

  • For the first time in 5 games the Wings scored first. No really that's not a fucking joke. But it does get better. Michigan State's own Drew Miller got his second goal as a Wing. And he earned it. He was aggressive on the forecheck which apparently caught the Stars off guard. He had a nice snap shot toward the net that deflected off a defensemen's elbow. Yeah he really earned his luck on that one. Go green.
  • The weirdest fucking part, Miller now has one more goal thana living hockey god himself, Lidstrom. Fuck this season.
  • The vast part of the first period was played without a whistle. Well until the refs became concerned the advertisers weren't getting appropriate air time, and fearing Gary's wrath, decided to call Homer for a cheap hooking penalty.
  • The Wings killed the penalty but about 3 second later, with 17 seconds left in the first, Dallas scores. Motherfucker was all that kept going through my head.
  • I haven't bitched about Meech much since he's been inserted into the line up. It could be because he doesn't get a lot of minutes, but I also think it's because he doesn't fuck up as much as Lebda. In fact, at the beginning of the second he had a nice defensive play where he went down to block a shot and ended up clearing the puck. I've decided, this is exactly how I like Meech, hardly noticeable unless he's making a decent play. Keep it up.
  • Cleary got the game winner. Garbage goal in front of the net. But at this point who's being picky?
  • However, Cleary later blocks a shot with his ankle and limps off in pain. When I saw him take a shift later I was inappropriately excited. In fact I noted that more surprising than the Wings having the lead is them not sustaining an injury during the game. Until I realized that after he takes off his skate tonight the real damage will be evident. That and the fact that from his facial expressions during the rest of the game you could assume that either Ozzie was spending his time on the bench pulling out Cleary's ball hair with a pair of tweezers or Clearly was really fucking hurting. Damn. I'm not a psychic but I have a feeling the news tomorrow will not be positive.
  • Jimmy Howard had another good game. I still have a sinking feeling in my stomach that just won't allow me to get comfortable with him. Because just when I do, he'll play like Turco does against the Wings.
  • HELM FINALLY SCORED! That poor fucking kid. With the opportunities he had last game you knew he was due. If he didn't score this game I was going to start to think the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy weren't real....
  • Pavel Datsyuk and Henrick Zetterberg are amazing (past their prime) players. Just don't say that enough so I figured, what the hell nows as good as any other time.
  • Early in the night I made a note that Bertuzzi blocked a shot. In my typical cynical, bitchy style, I assumed that I would merely spend a large portion of this post noting that not only did Bertuzzi finally do something beneficial during regulation, but that perhaps he should just be used as a second goalie. Throw him in front of slap shots etc. in the hope that he could at least earn his salary that way....but then he did the unthinkable. He scored a beautiful top shelf goal and you know what, I enjoyed eating my words, or I guess thoughts. My dad seems to think this is a direct result of Bertuzzi's ego growing due to the confidence Babcock placed in him Saturday during the shoot out. I'm not so sure. Personally I think it's a direct result of the Wings having possession of Turco's balls. They keep them in a jar in Homer's locker.

A solid, hardworking game from the Wings tonight. And dare I say a full 60 minute effort. Is the corner turned? I don't know, I can hope. But I'm fragile now. Thanks to this season I fall into a drunken fetal position more quickly than I have ever done before. I'm cautiously optimistic waiting for the next ass kicking from the Wings, the hockey gods, or Gary. But I still hope....I'm still waiting for the injuries to subside and for the Wings to consistently return to form. Because they will. And then all the bitches out there can shut the fuck up.

But until then, all I do know for sure is the Wings had a hell of a game tonight and all ankles, knees, wrists, and what the hell heads, of every Wings player should be wrapped in bubble wrap at all times. Games, practices, trips to the super market whatever because there is some fucked up injury curse surrounding this team.