Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Well at least Helm, Stuart, and Ozzie showed up...

Wait for it, you know what's coming next, the Wings lost again. Wow that was still surprisingly difficult and painful to write. Nearly as painful as watching Todd Bertuzzi and Brett Lebda attempt to compete in the NHL. Sometimes I wonder if the overweight 50 plus beer leaguers could get around Lebda....and then I watch the shit fest he calls hockey over and over again and realize they would probably make him ride pine so it wouldn't even be an issue.

In what has become typical Red Wings fashion over last season and apparently this year as well, the Wings came and put in a decent 20 minute effort in the third period and seemed utterly shocked that wasn't enough to solidify a win. For fucks sake boys. Come on. You are down Franzen, Filppula, Williams, Lilja (yeah it's been so long I almost forgot how to spell his name), and now this one hurts, Kronwall, and you expect to only show up for the third period. That is about as intelligent as the kid who sits on the bus, picks his nose and then makes them into Harry Potter figures for the remainder of the ride. And no, I'm not talking about Bertuzzi, this time.

Yes they have lost a great deal of firepower and the injuries are almost laughable. ( I think Crosby has a Wings voodoo doll he plays with before he enjoys a nice cup of warm milk and bed time story from Mario.) But they have shown they can win. A bunch of dick teases. They have the ability to dominate. We've seen it this season. Uncle Mike can't do it all. The line shuffling has been impressive (minus the ridiculous pairing of Homer, Datsyuk, and Bertuzzi) but he may actually need the guys to show up on a regular basis to make all of this worth while.

Below are a few of my random thoughts from the game:

  • A personal favorite of mine, Darren McCarty made his broadcasting debut. He cleans up pretty well. Sure he looks a little bit like a middle America substitute teacher, but for the most part pretty damn professional. My only question, does he have his teeth in?
  • McCarty also made the point at the opening of the broadcast that Ozzie needs to be the Wings best player of the night. And he really was. If only the other guys brought a 40% effort they may have won
  • I didn't notice Meech that much, which means he was probably better than Lebda
  • Homer looked good in the opening minutes of the game, which made me cringe worrying that he would be next on the hockey gods hit list
  • Despite Ozzie having a great game, he did have one pretty, shall we say Howardesque moment in the first. On a wrap around play he found himself complete out of the net forcing his teammates to step in as goalie. Their defensive efforts seemed to end there.
  • Ericsson still made me want to beat him with a hockey stick, but not as much as previous games. But the only plausible explanation for that is Lidstrom was there to make up for Ericssons lack of defensive ability this season.
  • However with that said he did make a nice defensive play without a stick after his broke in the neutral zone. Just wondering what the fuck took the forwards so long to give him on the their sticks.
  • Bertuzzi had two offensive zone penalties. The Predators scored on one. I hate you Todd Bertuzzi.
  • Last night the Versus announcers mentioned the Preds are 10-0 when they score a powerplay goal...and now their 11-0. Bastards
  • In fact their first two goals were powerplay goals. And I began to realize that every Wings PK is full of stress and ass puckering. Apparently like prison
  • For some reason, before this game Babcock called Stuart a minute muncher. I get where he is going but for christ sake that is almost more suggestive than sloppy seconds. I was just waiting for some idiot on the broadcast team (not McCarty) to accidentally misquote him and say carpet muncher allowing Gary to suspend Babcock for 8 games....
  • On a positive note, Miller scored his first goal as a Wing. And guess what. He drove to the fucking net. He took the chance and stepped out of the perimeter and was rewarded. Oh yes that's how the Spartans play...
  • Darren Helm had another fantastic breakaway attempt, this time on the PK. Ok first, he needs to start practicing that shit because he seems allergic to scoring on a breakaway. Zetterberg and Datsyuk need to pull that boy aside and help him help himself. Secondly Rinne decided that he is motherfucking Hasek and comes all the way out and trips Helm. At first I cringed and grabed my ankles assuming this would be another injury. But when it wasn't I just became pissed thinking how that was a penalty for the Dominator.
  • Now I make it a point not to question Babcock. So I will just say that the Bert, Homer, Leino line is about as intelligent as having a group of 3 year olds do your taxes. At that point you know you said fuck it.
  • After the ass that is Todd Bertuzzi took his second offensive zone penalty of the game, I had to kick my own ass and pinch myself because I agreed with the versus team. they said "Bertuzzi does not have fast enough feet to keep up with Detroit's style." What the fuck did we do as fans to deserve watching that donkey dick night after night...
  • And poor Datsyuk I wonder what he thinks of all of this shit. He watches Zetterberg get to play with people who actually have a set of balls and can play the game. For fucks sake Leino and Datsyuk seem more physical than Big Bert. During Datsyuks big hit at center ice, I can only conclude that he was envisioning Babcock....you know he has to be pissed about his line.

Yeah and that's all I can really say about what transpired last night. I'm bitter. I know there are injuries but something has to be done about Bertuzzi and Lebda. Sure they weren't the only reason the Wings lost last night, they had an off game. And that will happen. But the turnovers and lack of hockey intelligence out of those two is getting old. Really fast. Now if only we could find some team stupid enough to make an advantageous trade for them.

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