Thursday, July 2, 2009

So Long

Wow. What the fuckity fuck is going on? Like the new guy on his first day in prison I was surprised how fast the ass raping occurred. Marian Hossa has left for the Chicago Blackhawks. Was I surprised he parted ways with the Wings, no not at all. And you know what at least we can respect his decision to go to a contender. According to all the capologists out there, Hossa will make about 20 million more with Chicago's offer than he will Detroit's. Ummm yeah don't ask me to explain the details, my brain is not functioning this early, but I can tell you, that's a lot of fucking money. He left it on the table once, but how could he possibly do it again?

I guess the surprising part of his departure is that he went to Chicago. Perhaps the one team in the West I really would have liked him to avoid. Oh, and apparently he brought his little butt buddy Kopecky with him. Wow, Kopecky is like this little pet, just along for the ride. Now I know the Wings kept screaming about his potential. Personally I think they just kept spouting that shit in order to convince themselves it was true. I was more than happy to see Kopecky leave, and happy it was to Chicago. At least they will have one forward who is incapable of staying on his feet and hitting.....oh and the best part, they completely overpaid for him....snicker.

I'm guessing they really let Kopecky go because Holland received all of my notes (via the post office, I'm old school like that) consisting of letters cut from magazines and dipped in dog urine, don't ask it was necessary, begging him not to sign Kopecky and Samuelsson. Ahhh it's bizarre but it made me cackle like an evil bitch to see him go. So long...

Now with the addition of Hossa, Chicago is going to be one hell of a competitive the regular season. I have heard from multiple people that Hossa and Havlat are a wash. I disagree, I think they will be much more of a challenge this year than they were last year. But the good news, our Wings feed off this shit. They love the competitive aspect, they love to crush dreams....and despite the fact that I still like Hossa, I won't boo him, and I'm sure the guys in the locker room still respect him, they will probably enjoy pissing on his Stanley Cup dreams, and that's the good news for us fans. It will be fun meeting the Hawks 6 times in the regular season. Not the classic fun way where Detroit bends them over, has their way, and then makes them clean up....but it will be fun to crush their hopes.

So Dave, a Pens fan, sent me an email. It was long, nasty, and exactly the kind of thing I enjoy reading in the morning with my cup of coffee. Below is just a bit of it.

"Alright you stupid little bitch. Now that Hossa has left your pathetic team to skate with the next Central Division Champs, how do you feel now? Will you boo him and shut the fuck up about how classless the Pens and their fans are. Fuck you."

Awww thanks Dave. I appreciate that. It's like a little love note. But despite your kind words, no I will not boo Hossa. I began to expect that he would leave...and you know what I am happy Detroit didn't lose a ton of depth to keep him. No Dave, I will not be like the Penguins and take all my Barbies and make Hossa voodoo dolls. I'm not thrilled he's in Chicago, but at least this will give me something to laugh about in 2010. Watching Tallon try to figure out how to keep his three stars up for contract renewals. Ha!

Tallon's not smart enough for that shit....well, I take that back. Maybe he is. He did figure out a way to fuck himself in the that's pretty talented.

All in all, no hard feels. Best of luck to Hossa...see you next season!

Oh and I have three words to say to Chicago: Campbell, Huet, Crawford. Enjoy!


  1. Tallon's like a short-sited Ken Holland. Get some of the best players in the world...for...umm...just long enough to make 1 cup run and then the years of drafting first (which is never a staple of a great franchise) and rebuilding go right out the window. I don't know what I'm more excited for:

    Seeing Kronwall put Hossa to sleep without tucking him in.
    Seeing Kane, Taves (yeah I spell it how it out to be spelt) or Keith sign with us the following season. And then I'll don my Yzerman sweater and personally give Dale Tallon a big fat kiss on his greasy Chicago cheek!

  2. The Pens fans simply don't know how to enjoy a Stanley Cup summer. Unbelievable...

    Complete agreement about not booing Hossa. Wings fans knew this was a one-year deal - Cup or bust - with Hossa.

    But as I've said on A2Y, Holland was NOT going to pay $3.5 million for Hossa's waning years of his NHL career. Not when Zetterberg and Franzen are earning $1 million to $1.5 million near their retirement years.

  3. "Alright you stupid little bitch."

    As a man who dresses up like a woman a lot, this offends me as a pretend woman.

  4. "Alright you stupid little bitch."

    Sounds like it's straight from a script for a bad blockbuster movie. Is Michael Bay directing that? Or maybe it's from a Law and Order episode. Love em all, but that's a one-liner type of sentence that has had some rehearsing and lacks originality. i.e. I LOVE IT!

  5. ^I agree. Someone's clearly been watching too many bad action movies. I was waiting for him to follow it up with, "You foiled all of my plans," or something equally cliche. Seriously though, nobody around here sent emails like that to Pens bloggers last summer, right?

  6. Wings_Fan_In_KC says:

    LOL Some internet tough guy calling you out? What a little shitheel. What a maroon! What a fucking piece of shit.