Wednesday, July 15, 2009

After a self imposed break....

I have to be honest, I think after this whole Jiri Hudler/KHL/castration of Wings fans "situation" I needed to step the fuck back and calm down. If not you may have been subject to the worlds most angry hikou or the lyrics to a song full of self pity and whining. Honestly though, friends and family always have this strange assumption that the Wings obsession will end when the season ends. A summer break if you will....unfortunately that's just not the case. Especially when such a strange July takes place. I am yet to welcome a new Red Wing, but have now perfected the good bye post. It's not as though I am panicked about next season and I certainly never felt it was the down fall of the Wings dynasty as some Donkey Dicks are reporting....I was just surprised by the departure of our own Oompa Loompa.

It was like being woken up in your loft, your freshman year of college, by a mysterious pair of pants being flung across the 12x12 room by your roommates new fuck buddy and you realize the rest of your year is going to be an inappropriate, inexperienced cheesy porno you will be forced to explain to ALL visitors. But anyway, what snapped me out of this funk if you will....reading the Triple Deke's depressing recap of my own personal hell. Yes it was like reverse psychiatry. Well shit, thanks for that guys.....I guess....

So back to Hudler and the precarious situation the NHL has now put the Wings in. Everyone has essentially reported all there is about Jiri and his deflection to the KHL. But let me just say, Hudler, well this one surprised me. Hossa, yep expected it. Kopecky and Samulesson, whether it is irrational or not, I may have done my own personal happy dance at their departure. Conklin stung....and the thought of Howard (how long will he actually last?? my guess, or maybe it's the thing I know I will be praying about to the hockey gods every night come October, is the trade deadline) But Hudler, the man who screamed "Detroit rock city" in a thick accent while dancing and proclaiming his love for the Wings each step of the way....no I didn't expect that. I feel as though I learned what a kick to the balls is like...

Now don't misunderstand, if Hudler really will be making 10 million dollars tax free, we can't blame him. (just hopefully they are able to pay the salary and he is an absolute lunatic if he doesn't ask for a large chuck of that money up front) My issue was the way it all happened. I'll admit I was a bit pissed that he filed for arbitration and then a few days later signs a contract with the Dynamo. That's some shady shit. But my sister continues to tell me to get over it and I'm just being a bit crazy and to calm the fuck down. So I've tried. I tried to move on. Tried to rationalize his departure and have now refrained from calling him a traitorous turd.

But then the league had to step in. Right on cue they saw the Wings were down and they decided to trample on all of us fans...rip out a few hearts, strings of hope, and stomp on them. That's right, because any opportunity Gary and his bitches have to bend the Wings over they take it. With them appealing the Hudler contract, the Wings may have their hands tied until September when the last remaining free agent is a janitor for the Phoenix Coyotes who swears he is a right hand shot and Babcock is forced to use him on the second power play unit on the point of course, because he has some sick fucked up inability to just say no....

Just let him go. Let him play where he wants and give Holland the chance to find a worthy replacement. Perhaps another Dan Cleary he picks up hitch hiking on the side of the road and turns into the next big thing. Someone who decides they want to play in the Winged Wheel. Find a worthy player and situation to make an example out of...not one that falls into a gray area.... Gross, I just resorted to begging and groveling to the league on my blog....excuse me for a moment as I go and bathe in a tub of alcohol and peroxide to remove the stank from me...

Let me leave you with this....Gary is having one hell of an off season. No he's not rolling around in the 7 million dollars he made last year, he's gloating, he's so happy he is inadvertently pissing his pants at least once an hour. He's cackling and enjoying each and every departure from the Wings more than the last. He's dancing around in his favorite hot pants with cash money printed on the ass to Chaka Khan and Cher revealing in the fact that his evil salary cap is working. He's enjoying watching the fans sweat it out, waiting and wondering when we can expect a free agent signing. He feels as though baby Jesus gave him an early Christmas present with the Hudler cluster fuck. And just because he is a greedy self absorbed bastard (or marketing genius, I guess it depends on which side your on) he almost busted a nut over having the Wings open their season against the Blackhawks.

Fuck you Chicago......It's going to be hard to spread the hate evenly this year...

But if you want to feel better, remember Leino and Helm, yep Darren Freaking Helm, will be with the Wings next year. Most teams would be pretty damn pleased with that. I almost forgot until I stumbled across AnimalDrew's blog....I felt a little better thinking about a whole season of Darren Helm.

2 comments:

  1. Thanks for the plug, Jessie!

    Great post by the way. It's hate filled maniacs like you that inspire me to be a hate filled maniac.

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  2. Don't forget Ericsson on defense the whole year - and he was playing with a sore hand this year, too (including when he rag-dolled Corey Perry in the Anaheim series, I believe). :)

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