Monday, May 17, 2010

Please Don't Go

Yep, hockey is still over for Red Wings fans. News has been of the depressing variety over the last week. First we have Lidstrom Gate where we all watch and debate whether or not he is coming back. Every sentence is analyzed to the 10th degree. He mentions he likes Michigan Hot we determine he's staying. We hear some story about how he still considers Sweden home, so he's leaving. Back and forth, back and forth our emotions are toyed with. I honestly feel like a high school girl again, sitting at the lunch table debating with my friends, do you think he likes me? Enough already. I can't believe this shit is going to go on for weeks. Just please come back. Please.

And if the emotional toll from Lidstrom Gate wasn't enough, I also had the distinct pleasure of watching Chicago beat San Jose. Jesus Christ you fucking idiotic Sharks. Pull your dicks out of your mouths and beat Chicago. For fucks sake I have NEVER wanted a team that eliminated the Wings to make it to the Finals so badly. I cannot even begin to fathom the possibility of Chicago making it to the finals. Because mark my words, the team from the West is going to win this bitch. No questions asked. Done. And I cannot spend an entire season listening to how baby brother is the new King of the central division and how they "dethroned" the "Dead Things." I can't. So San Jose needs to do something right. That waste of space, piece of shit, whinny Joe Thornton needs to act like a fucking leader and crush Chicago. Because I'm not ready to see 20 cent lift Lord Stanley's Cup.

Anywho, Moving on from my rant regarding Chicago and back to Lidstrom Gate. I know most people in the organization and outside think he's coming back. And I hope they're right. My gut is telling me he's not coming back but that could just be indigestion. So instead of speculating, I'm going to once again turn to something solid and realistic, AOL Horoscopes.

Below is his horoscope for today. Let's see if it gives us any insight into his decision making process:

Pleasure calls today as your key planet Venus is over-stimulated by opulent Jupiter, luring you to accept the second helping of dessert, even if you are already full. The idea of luxuriating in delight could turn your need for satisfaction into gluttony or greed. Think about how much is actually enough, for even if you are happily enjoying yourself, overdoing it could create difficulties sooner than you realize.

My Take: Well after having read that nonsense a few times to try and put some sort of hockey spin on it, here's what I came up with. He's enjoying his off time off to a great degree (yeah not good for us) although the stars are trying to warn him that perhaps retirement and lounging around is not what he should be doing yet. He could be creating issues for himself with too much relaxation. The stars are clearly saying he should play hockey for another 2 years. At a discounted rate of course.

Yeah, that was a stretch, but it's all I got. I hate the off season.


  1. Should I be scared because of the fact my mind wandered off and got dirty for a second at "Venus is over-stimulated by opulent Jupiter"?

    Lol, the captcha is: expli

    Now I just need the next one to be: cit

  2. "Lol, the captcha is: expli

    Now I just need the next one to be: cit"

    And "cit" is only one L away from being...

    Bah, you're being a bad influence on my virgin mind, Andy...go get some sleep, kid. According to my research, you've been on the computer for at least 24 hours straight.

  3. When the mooooon is in the 7th houuuuuse, and Jupiterrrr aligns with Maaarssss

  4. Your research was wrong Drew. I napped twice