Friday, January 22, 2010

Back from the abyss

Well considering that I haven't posted on this blog since Christmas, I would normally say I was on a break...but let's be honest, I was absent for nearly as long as Ville Leino's offensive game, which is really fucking long. And no, during my absence I can assure you I did not find where he is hiding his talent or where Bettman stashes his Crosby masturbation videos. I was instead super busy at work and moving into our first home, which for some reason left me without cable for a week and a half.

In fact, when I was finally able to begin watching the Wings, they went on that 3 game losing streak which ended last night. I began to secretly wonder if I was bringing some sort of bad mojo....

Anywho, just a few quick things that have already been discussed during my "break."

The Herm to Hockeytown event is heating up. If you haven't ordered your tickets it. It promises to be an awesome event. Finally just booked all of mine and looking forward to being back in Michigan in March.

For some reason, Brian and Chris decided to bring me back for another Red Wings podcast. (By the way, thanks again guys.) It was a great time with the very knowledgeable Andy from Fight Night at the Joe and the always entertaining and thought provoking Michael Petrella from The Production Line. I'll be honest, considering I hate listening to my own voicemail recording, I have avoided downloading any of my podcasts....that is unless I plan on auditioning for the next Alvin and the Chipmunks movie....

During my hiatus, we also learned a little something about Patrick Kane....evidently he likes to scream boom after he scores.....too many jokes there, but the cabby battering king of the mini douches probably likes to use this term during other moments of excitement. You know like when he stops the gas pump on an even dollar amount (his strong aversion to change is well documented), or when the dermatologist tells him his acne should really clear up once he finishes going through puberty, or the day he found Mike Greens self love website and decided to use it as a template for his know the small victories in life people often take for granite. Seriously, what the fuck did you think I meant, take your head out of the gutter...This blog only contains pure and good thoughts. Yes I'm sarcastically shining my halo.

Anyway, speaking of everyones favorite Norris contender, how did I not see his website before. How did no one share it with me? Mike Green has his own personal masturbation website. What a fantastic idea. (Mike "the situation" from the Jersey Shore is kicking his own faux hawked ass right now for not thinking of that idea first). I mean seriously, tell me a guy with a mix of tattoos that contain, the quintessential tribal tattoo, references to faith, and little pretty flowers, did not create that site just for his own personal enjoyment. I mean seriously, too much to pick from for my first post back. I promise to revisit this in the future.

Someone put Ozzie's bra in the freezer again (Babcock we're looking at you) because he decided to throw a bitch fit to the media. I wish they would both keep this shit behind closed doors.

And finally to last nights game. I missed the first 2 periods and most of the 3rd because it decided to rain in Arizona. While the media was sensationalizing the impending storm, I laughed and remembered trekking through feet of snow on my way to class at MSU. But soon I realized that 5 inches of rain the desert can flood my backyard to the point where I needed to dig a drainage ditch. And by me, I mean I asked my husband. So mother nature fucked my hockey night, but I did get to see the shoot out....and yes, when Miller came up, my immediate thought was, this is what the season has fucking come to. And when he scored, I cheered, laughed, annoyed my mud soaked husband, and felt an uncontrollable need to sing the MSU fight song, chipmunk voice and all. Great to see the Wings win. Crossing my fingers and toes they can take that momentum into the game on Saturday.


  1. Glad to see you back, Jessie! I'd thought about you and Mike Serven with all the rain that's been going on in Arizona. We're happy you haven't floated away. :)

    Drew Miller's game-winning shootout goal was nothing short of awesome.

  2. While I am indeed a fan of Drew Miller, especially when he scores GWG's, I'll never forgive him (or you) for going to school in East Lansing. Don't you ever bring that fight song on TOV.

    Glad to have you back. I missed my morning alotment of "F bombs" and the ever present assault on douchebaggery, in this case, Mike Green.

  3. First time I have been called knowledgeable ever. Also good to see someone else than Natalie swearing as much as me back. Wow, bitchin' about 5 inches of rain... You're right, just try Norway, a meter of snow and no hockey on TV unless you pay big. And -20 celcius (too drunk to convert into Fahrenheit) coming soon.

  4. Good to see you survived the move - that can be a very rough time. And Happy New Year as well.

  5. Haha, just forced myself through our episode of TOV and when you talked about Miller you sounded like you were breaking up with him and trying to do it smoothly.

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