Saturday, June 27, 2009

The Day The Hate Died?

Alright, quick post since this weekend back in Michigan is absolutely crazy and busy. But this was news that I had to stop everything and post. When I first read it I was probably as confused as.... well, Chris Pronger attempting to figure out the square root of 100. Chris Pronger has been traded to the Philadelphia Flyers.

I hate the fucker. My hate and general dislike for him is well documented. In fact at one point I may or may not have compared him to a dirty used cum rag under a bed. So when I found out I would no longer have to cringe every time he raised his elbows in the general direction of Detroit, I was elated and yet conflicted.

On the one side, I do not have to look at this piece of shit multiple times a year. That perpetually confused and painful look on his face will no longer continuously occupy my tv screen. It will also be incredibly entertaining to watch Crosby play against him so often. Oh what a gift from sweet baby Jesus this is. Not only will we get to see Crosby grab his pussy and cry even more than usual, but we get to listen to Chris Prongers lecture on the "law of physics" multiple times a year. Ha. If you ever felt the need to lose a few brain cells without the consumption of alcohol, well this feeble attempt of justification will do it for you. *sigh, I just need to sit back and enjoy the thought of Crosby waking up in terror thinking about the giant elbow from hell heading toward his precious little head while Mario brings him a glass of warm milk to calm his nerves....

So while there are positives from the trade, it will be weird to play the Ducks and not see Pronger on the blue only problem is, can I spread ALL the hate I have for this team between Perry and Getzlaf...I guess we'll find out soon enough.

More on the draft soon

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Shocking News, a few days late

Wow. So I totally suck. No, and it's not just because I used the word totally in a way which will make 40 something ex valley girls proud, but because I have failed to update this blog in quite a while and there has been a great deal of Red Wings news. So as punishment, I locked myself in a room and was forced to listen and watch interviews consisting of just of Betteman, Roenick, and everyones favorite mouth breather Malkin. Yes it was painful and I began to sufficate from the large egos in the room. After 3 minutes I was convinced I entered the inner ring of hell. I half expected to run into C. Lemiuex and Pronger sharing a glass of beer...but apparently this was justified because my lack of updates caused my sister to warn me that if I don't shape up, she will force me to get a Mike Green kickass tribal tattoo, just to honor how pathetic I am. So here we go. The quick and dirty Red Wings news looooooong after everyone else has already covered it. Yep that's how I roll here at Bingo Bango.

Well I guess all of the recent news can be considered about as shocking as a young college student waking up next to a pile of puke with a scratchy crotch....yep he had his beer goggles on.

First up, Chris Chelios is no longer a Wing. I know I have been a total bitch about him. In fact I am pretty sure that I asked my doctor just to bill him for my ulcer since this playoff run he was solely responsible for it's growth, but now that he's gone, it's sad to see the end of an era. Of course Holland and the entire Wings organization handled this transition with class....I wouldn't expect anything less. I always thought this season would be his swan song, but apparently he still wants to play and contribute. A guy like Chelios should be able to retire when he wants. Hope there's a team out there he can hook up with.

Second throw you out of your seat moment; Babcock is named Team Canada's hockey coach. I know, I know try to keep up. It was shocking and unexpected. I thought for sure Keenan would be named head coach...oh wait, never mind. Well Babs has his work cut out for him here. Due to lack of sleep and confusion over trying to decide how to maximize Zetterberg's talent, while also attempting to find a way to ensure Crosby does not to turn into a total bitch against him for the 3rd year in a row, we can expect a great deal of random babbling and intense cliches coming from Babcock. Yes more Babcock dribble and confused reporters than normal....But all kidding aside, he obviously was Stevie's best choice. But let's be honest, if Yzerman said it was a good idea to run through the streets of Detroit naked......well let's just hope he doesn't suggest's probably just better for everyone.

And this brings us to the third piece of news. Steve Yzerman inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame. Nothing I can say could possibly honor this moment. The greatest captain, The Captain, will have his rightful place in the hall. I remember growing up watching and idolizing him like so many other kids in Michigan. In my 5th grade class we had to write an "autobiography" from the standpoint of our favorite famous person. We then had to dress up and read our little paper. While all the other girls were princesses and actresses, I proudly wore my number 19 jersey and spoke about the skill and leadership of The Captain. His humbleness, work ethic, and talent will always be remembered. I cannot possibly give him justice here. The Triple Deke and A2Y sum it up best.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Heh....about what I expected

So if case you haven't heard the NHL awards were last night.....hmmmmm apparently they are still letting their incredibly talented marketing team moonlight as the award event planners. Because let's be honest, this bland, vanilla, predictable show has a long way to go before it becomes entertaining.

Some random thoughts.......

Ummmm where was Sidney Crosby, the face of the NHL, the Stanley Cup winning captain....Maybe he was just running late....I say suspend him....

Ovechkin showed up in predictable style with two Vegas show girls on his arms....ummm yeah, he's lucky he's a hockey player.

Speaking of which, the king of mouth breathers is fortunate he is able to score goals because wow, under normal circumstances this would be an unevenly matched say the least.

Chaka Khan, really Gary. We don't need to hear your favorite masturbation music at the NHL award shows. If something ever screamed substandard, it's having Chaka Khan sing at your awards show, in 2009, twice.

Most of the winners were predictable. Although I was surprised that Datsyuk took home the Lady Byng. At this point he gave his best, and my favorite speech of the night. Subtle humor that was probably lost on the crowd.

Seriously, did the people there know they were watching an award show in Vegas, and not CSPAN? They had about as much energy and enthusiasm as a jilted housewife. The "claps" made me look around and see if Tiger or Phil were taking the first tee...lame, pathetic. Next time they need to have Ovechkin's show girls handing out shots at the entrance. Although despite this, Datsyuk probably got the best response from the crowd.

Notice anything off about that video montage....let me just say "Lindstom." Yep, a friend called during the show to let me know that they spelled Datsyuk's name wrong during the montage. So now the Wings proudly have two new players named Lindstrom and Datsuuk. Guess the marketing interns running the show didn't have any fact or spell checkers. Just pathetic that for 2 years in a row they were incapable of spelling a top stars name correctly...there aren't that many awards, it can't be that difficult. Ironically enough Lidstrom and Datsyuk were also the two suspended due to the All Star game cluster fuck...

I've never been a fan of Jeremy Roenick. Ever. In fact he is exactly the kind of prima donna I cannot stand. With his 1990s slicked back hair and shinny, silky shirt, I had an unnatural hope that someone would run up and Patrick Sharp his ass...well not ass but you get the point. It's obvious to anyone with a brain even the size of Chris Prongers that Roenick is angling for a broadcast job. Well little buddy, after that performance, you better hope an executive at Versus was watching incredibly drunk and finds someone fumbling over simple words and walking around like he has a hockey stick up his ass to be broadcasting excellence. Well nevermind, I take it back, they have Pierre McGuire, so Roenick sure as hell has a shot.

Despite the pathetic award show, they certainly did do something right. My favorite moment was watching Konstantinov walk out and present the Pearson Award. Now that one had to tug at even the coldest heart.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


So it's only Wednesday night, almost a week since the season ended, since Maxine and Flower will no longer simply be names of drug store perfume, but will instead cause me to wake in the middle of the night from pure terror. It's only been 5 days and I already miss hockey.

During the playoffs I began to question why I get so worked up over the regular season....and now I honestly question my sanity even more as I eat up every Red Wings related story out there and eagerly await the NHL Awards just to have some hockey news. Honestly, my off season on line surfing can be quite pathetic....but what can I say...I'm a Wings fan.

So anyway, tomorrow night, Vegas will host the NHL awards. Apparently there has already been a number of events including the Anaheim Ducks hosting some sort of party at the Playboy Club. I suppose at least for once Prongers open mouth and subsequent puddle of drool will make sense....Ryan Getzlaf will be in some sort of wannabe frat boy heaven while trying to hide his newly burnt bald spot (trust me that damn desert sun is fucking intense), and well hopefully Perry doesn't take any cheap shots at anyone and all plastic body parts were able to leave safe and sound.

In honor of the Awards taking place tomorrow at 8:30 on Versus and CBC, let's take a closer look at some of the award nominees, my choices, and my predictions. And yes, since you are at Bingo Bango both my choices, and my predictions will probably make very little sense and have absolutely no real analysis. So shut it.


Tim Thomas
Niklas Backstrom
Steve Mason

My Pick: Tim Thomas. He's the reason for Boston's unbelievable regular season...And he looks exactly like Drew Carey, and since I was a huge fan of Mimi's goddess eyebrows, well how could I not pick him. Yep I told you I'm all analytical and shit today
Winner: Thomas or Mason.....I feel torn on who the media will salivate over more. However, I'm going to guess Thomas will win the Vezina and Mason the Calder


Nick Lidstrom (Or Lindstrom if your the NHL)
Zdeno Chara
Mike Green

My Pick: Ummmmm yeah I know I'm a homer but still, you're a dirty whore if you don't pick Lidstrom. And in honor of the most amazing shirt I saw in Vegas "Fuck you, you Fucking fuck " if you can't see his greatness. No really that shirt is now my personal slogan and will be directed at anyone who pisses me the fuck off. Ok anyway, he played through tendentious all season and was still the top defenseman in the league....and if you mention his "decline" suck a dick, he's still got it. Yeah....look at what he played through during the playoffs....
Winner: Well Mike Green of course. The reason, the media became completely hypnotized by his tribal tattoo and faux hawk while repeatedly staring at his glamor shot photos on the Capitals "ladies" website...yeah don't get me started on that


Steve Mason
Kris Versteeg
Bobby Ryan

My Pick: Steve Mason. I believe both Mason and Nash carried the entire BJs team into their first playoff run. And despite contracting mono (which isn't that something you usually get over and done with in high school?? Or as little Steve learned, from chasing Puck Bunnies) he had an unbelievable season and led the league in shut outs. And I can't pick Bobby Ryan because he played for the Ducks so it's principal (I don't hate him yet, but I'm sure I will) and Kris Versteeg proved he is too much of a little bitch...and he pisses me off.
The Winner: Hey, I think they'll get this one right. Mason


Pavel Datsyuk
Ryan Kesler
Mike Richards

My Pick: Pavel Freaking Datsyuk. The Dangler. Mr. Bo Dangles. Lame but what can I say....I'm a bit off today.... Ummmm cleary the best two way player in the league. Despite the strong performances by both Kesler and Richards...I don't think it will be enough to dethrone Detroit's little Selke King. Yeah nothing more needs to be said.
The Winner: Datsyuk or Richards....I think they may get it right though....

Lady Bing:

Pavel Datsyuk
Martin St. Louis
Zach Parise

My Pick: Heh? Did you think I would pick someone else? STFU, my pick Datsyuk
The Winner: Tough choice. I think Datsyuk will be overlooked due to the whole All Star bitchslap from Gary...although while sitting out that game he did inadvertently provide himself with quite a nickname "dangle, dangle" so that has to count for something right? Maybe cancel that whole cluster fuck out? I don't know, I think it will go to Parise or St. Louis...Parise had an unbelievable season and St. Louis played hard and with character on the sinking ship that is Tampa Bay. But I'll go with Parise.

The Hart: Yeah the award Crosby wasn't nominated for....snicker, gives the middle finger, insert my new slogan (FYYFF)

Pavel Datsyuk
"Geno" Malkin
Alex Ovechkin

My Pick: 3 for 3 Datsyuk. And come on, you have to admit 3 speeches from Datsyuk would be incredibly entertaining. Now if the Hart was labeled, the best goal scorer, I would change my vote. But no, instead it's most valuable player, and much more goes into that than scoring goals. Datsyuk embodies this for the Wings. I know, I know these awards are only based on the regular season, but just look at the morale boost the Wings received when Dangle came back in the finals....sigh
The Winner: Ovechkin. Yep Diddy said it's all about the Benjamins...well the media was all about the Ovechkin this season. Well not ALL about him, but they did cheat on Crosby with him a bit...not bad, not all the way...but a little under the shirt stuff, maybe they rounded I'm going with Ovechkin as the Winner.

Alright I know I missed a number of awards, but work and life beckons. If you are as bored as I am, or if you have the shakes caused by hockey withdrawal, let me know your choices.

Until then, I'll be attempting to work while still mourning the fact that the hockey season is over....leaving me with "I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here" to occupy my TV time. Seriously, fuck you NBC, that show hurts more than Pierre McGuire.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009


Ok, now I'm not trying to stand on a soap box here. Honestly, I'm not. Even if I did at 5'4'' it probably wouldn't make me that much bigger or intimidating so I don't try. If fact, during my first two posts since game 7 I tried to ignore all this shit and assume once the parade took place and the summer cup plans began to form the Penguins fans would just go away celebrate and stop bitching. But apparently that isn't possible. So now, with little else going on, I guess I'll address it.

I've received a number of emails from Pens fans gloating, bragging, and revealing in the Wings loss. Ok I get that. You're excited, happy you won the cup. Maybe I'll even share a few of the emails on here later today. Bragging I get. I find it entertaining. And you know what, your team you should brag. Be arrogant cocky little motherfuckers. What I don't get is the whiny, bitchy, cunty (yes that's a word now) complaints from Pens fans. Concerned more with Wings fans opinions of them than celebrating their cup win. More concerned with how they are treated and perceived by the Wings than celebrating their victory. Which is surprising really since Gary decided to market his very own Sidney Crosby Masturbation Palace all last year despite the fact that the Pens had lost. Really they have no reason to bitch about this, go out and fucking celebrate. But instead of going to the parade, they decided to sit at their computers and bitch about their teams lack of credit. It honestly makes you wonder what sort of self esteem issues we're dealing with.

If the Wings won this year, the last thing I would be discussing is the fact that Sidney Crosby's face looks like a dirty queef, or that Malkin's parents are as famous as he is simply for repeatedly dry humping in public, or that Hal Gill should join the Steelers defensive line once he retires. No. Instead I'd congratulate the Wings and essentially discuss the same things I did with the loss. I'd be proud of the Wings, I'd brag, but I sure as hell wouldn't be a whiny little cunt looking for validation from other teams fans.

Perhaps what is even more shocking is the msm has exemplified this same sort of low self esteem attitude. Take note of the 'dirty' Beaver County times. Maybe the problem is I can't take a publication called the Beaver seriously, but here's what they had to bitch about, I mean say:

It goes back to Original Six conceit. When the Penguins led 2-0 in the third period, I thought the traditionalists on press row were going to weep. When Detroit cut the lead in half, hope sprang eternal.

Notice Lidstrom didn’t complain. Just the has-been forward that piggybacked his way to a fistful of rings. Crosby didn’t complain when Draper inexplicably stole his spot on Team Canada for the 2006 Winter Olympics. Canadians, however, complained when their low-octane team lost in the quarterfinals.

And that brings us to "the incident." The handshake snub. Do I think it was wrong of Crosby. Hell yes. Was I pissed when Chelios didn't shake hands in Anaheim. Yep. But I was glad he at least apologized. Crosby has been playing hockey since he could walk. He has won championships in the past, as a captain, and knows he is to lead the handshake line. This is an area where hockey differentiates itself from other sports. Shows that sportsmanship is still alive. Now just as wrong as it was, it is just as easy to say he was caught up in the moment. He's 21 that's easy to do. But being the "savior" of the NHL, being our "hockey Jesus" he should have noticed his error and apologized. He's a role model to young hockey players and shouldn't he be expected to set an example?? It's not as though Tyler Kennedy was late to the line because he was tongue fucking his hockey stick.

Nope. This is the leagues poster boy and responsibility comes with big contracts, endorsements, and fame. But I guess it was too much to expect of a spoiled child, who has been labeled North America's hockey savior, to show a bit of humility and class. You know in a way, I feel bad for him...not sure he had a chance not to be a douche.

Just my two cents. I just hope the bitching, whining, and poor me Pens attitudes dissipates and their fans are able to fully enjoy a cup win....because don't expect it to happen again next year.

And I thought all I would have to worry about this off season and next season was having the sour nectar of hockey Jesus repeatedly shoved down my throat. Sigh.

Monday, June 15, 2009

One door closes....another opens

Well I'm back from the bright lights of Vegas, perhaps still hung over, but back and continuing to grieve the loss of the Stanley Cup. It's bizarre and I am completely incapable of explaining the disappointment to non Wings fans. I know life goes on...the rest of the sporting world has probably picked up and already forgotten the NHL even exists. I mean sure, the sun still came up this morning, sure it's still hot enough to sweat your balls off in Phoenix, Larry Murphy is probably more hungover than I am, and Pierre McGuire now has a new masturbation photo collection. Everyone else has moved it's my turn to eventually get over this loss.

Apparently though I am a masochist, because after getting home last night, I watched game 7. I don't know, maybe in years to come a team of experienced and dedicated therapists will attempt to understand the self torture I decided to inflict upon myself. I don't know, it certainly didn't make me feel any better. I didn't offer any closure, I now just feel as though I am about 2 days behind the rest of Hockeytown in the grieving process.

A few quick points, and trust me there will be no elaboration.

  • Turnovers/giveaways and generally slutty, loose behavior with the puck. I don't know some sort of chastity belt is needed....
  • Failure to drive the net during the first two periods
  • Inability to establish a strong forecheck
  • And for the first time in a long time, the wings seemed scared and matter what they may have said to the media, the confidence wasn't there
  • Part of what has been so great about this team is there ability to move as one unit. Anticipate their linemates next move. Maybe this is a result of all the line changes caused by injuries and matchups, but they seemed lost and like 5 players each working separately.
  • Oh, and it was quite obvious that the fans were booing Gary and not Crosby. It happened last year in Pittsburgh as well. No one booed Lidstrom, they booed that little cocksucker Betteman. And I'm sure the same thing will happen again next year, so STFU.

Now I'm really not trying to bitch and complain about the Wings. Just wanted to say a few final thoughts about game 7. Although I really wish I had the self control not to watch it. Despite knowing I shouldn't watch it, having it on my DVR taunting me, is like putting a keg and a pack of condoms in a frat house and telling them not to touch either one...

Over at The Triple Deke Tyler has one of those heartbreaking, stomach turning, Humane Society commercial, type pictures of Kronwall hanging his head. So if you're a masochist like myself, be sure to look at that photo again....after all their hard work, after fighting through the adversity, after being the first cup champion in 6 years to make it past the first round, they lose game 7 at home.

All this season there has been discussion about the Wings hunger. Their ability to turn "it" on after they are down a goal or two. A Stanley Cup hangover if you will. Well after seeing pictures like the one of Kronwall, and after seeing Crosby lift the cup in front of their fans, you have to assume that raw desire will be back for the 09-10 season. Because despite this devastating loss, this is still a team of champions, a team which holds winning in such high regard that they ALL sign under market value contracts to stay. A team we can all still, and will continue to be proud of.

Ok so apparently in this post I have mentioned the need to move on about 500 times...but in my sleep deprived fucked up mind, I have reasoned that if I keep writing it, then it will come true. So here we go again, time to move on and look to the future. And how can we possibly talk about next season without mentioning Hossa.

The injury reports have come out. I've read and heard a number of different things. From the Lidstrom testicle (which I knew about, but surgery....fuck that is dedication), Rafalski's herniated disk, Drapers torn throat cartilage, Ericsson with some foot issue, Cleary's groin which was apparently torn away from the bone, and Datsyuk who apparently is "too empty" to discuss his broken big toe/charlie horse. And these are just the injuries we know about....but nothing has been said about Hossa. Nothing. Since I am still all sorts of bitchy, I will have to wait and dive into this further at a later time, but I half expected to hear he was playing with a pulled groin, bad knee, and mysteriously missing pinkie. I don't know something. Something other than the lack of mental strength to get over the fact that they were playing the Penguins in the finals...I don't know, I'm a bit surprised.

But with that being said, I think he will be back next year. I think Holland has made it a priority. I think Hossa likes it with the Wings, and despite the loss this year, the Wings will still be cup contenders for quite some time. And yes I know that last sentence contradicts everything you have read from the media this past weekend...oh and of course Gary essentially dethroning and bitchslapping the Wings organization at center ice at the Joe.....but that's ok. I like it. Count out the Wings, enjoy your moment under your hockey Jesus' smile. Because next year, and for years to come, the Wings continuous dominance will only feel better knowing they were counted out.

This off season should be pretty interesting. Hudler, Samuelsson, Lebda, and Kopecky. Who stays, who goes, do we sacrifice depth to keep another star player? Are Leino and Abdelkader ready for the NHL? Will Leino even want to stay with the Wings? Helm, Ericsson, can they keep up their crazy pace for the entire NHL season? I don't know, I can speculate, make predictions and due to utter hockey withdrawal this summer, I will probably take some guesses. But the reality is the Wings organization, Holland and Babcock, they know this team, they know what's best, and all we can do is accept their decisions. Because after two back to back seasons in the Stanley cup finals....clearly they know something no one else does.

I'll be back with more later. But for now, Lets Go Wings.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

A seasons end

Well the unthinkable, unimaginable, what I deemed impossible happened. It was heartbreaking. I missed most of the game, as I suspected, stuck on the Hoover Dam. That Damn Dam....By the time we finally got to the room Ericsson scored the Wings only goal and despite my better judgement, I began to get my hopes up. It was a brutal loss leaving me with a sick sinking feeling in my stomach. I turned the tv off and attempted to avoid any coverage for the entire weekend....I think the only way I was able to keep my sanity and composure was because I was in Vegas....which seems weird I suppose.

I still haven't fully come to grips with the loss, so I don't have much to say. Hopefully after another nights sleep I can gain some perspective. I think this one hurts a bit more because it happened at the Joe and Gary's fantasy has been fulfilled. I can only imagine the marketing campaign we will be forced to endure for years to come...sigh.

I would like to thank the Wings for a great season. They played hard, fought through injuries, and once again were cup contenders. They continuously make us proud to be Red Wings fans. Congrats on a great season.

I'd also like to thank anyone who has stumbled by and read this blog, commented, or sent emails which make me realize I am not the only crazed fan out there. My first stab at blogging has certainly been entertaining and it's great to have other hard core Wings fans to discuss the team we love.

I'll have more that I am back to reality and everything can fully sink in.

Until them, enjoy these videos and remember, it didn't end how we hoped, but it was a great ride.

Lets Go Wings.

Thanks all for a great season

Friday, June 12, 2009

It's time

From Babcock:

“Well, the big thing Hossa has to understand is all he’s got to do is do what he does. We’ve talked about that. I asked him who scored the goals for Detroit in Game 6 last year in the Final? He didn’t know, and neither did I. That’s the facts. But I knew we won. Doesn't matter who scores the goals, none of that matters. What matters is do your part and allow the team to win. He’ll do that. He’ll be great.”

Enough said. Statistics, history, expectations none of it matters. The Wings just need to play their game, Red Wings Hockey.

I'm out. Taking off to Vegas for the weekend and hoping like hell I don't get grid locked on the Hoover Dam causing me to miss most of the game. If this happens, you may in fact read about some crazed girl running and screaming Ozzie, Ozzie or Sidney is a bitch, while weaving in and out of cars across the Nevada desert. But if for once in my life I am on time for a trip, I should just miss the first period. Here's hoping. If the Wings cement their destiny tonight, I will try to update, and check back....if the unspeakable happens (which it won't, it can't, not an option) you may have to send out a search party.....

12th on the 12th for the 12th.

Let's Go Wings.

No. Other. Choice

Well it's here. The end of the season. After many nervous moments, sleepless nights, panic, and investment in a team which is hard to explain to the average fan, the season will end tonight. A winner will be determined. It is eerily calm and confident around the hockeytown blogosphere. It seems as though the joyful focus has finally transferred from the team to the fans. I wish I could say I am as cool, calm and collected, but for some reason I haven't been able to focus or regroup. Bizarre, I know. Maybe it's because I will be missing at least the beginning of game 7 while driving to Vegas for my bachelorette party. Oh yeah, you can be sure I'll be a ton of fucking fun leading up to this game.

There is really nothing more to say at this point. No preview, not now. Every preview, every analysis, every statistic has already been written. But none of it will matter. Tonight, a Stanley Cup champion will be crowned. Tonight the long wait will be over.

As a fan, this series has been heartbreaking, exciting, and unnecessarily suspenseful. But all everyone will remember is this game 7. It is sure to cement it's place in history. Legends and goats will be established. Careers defined.

Please do not mistake the Wing's quiet calm and confidence for indifference. This is a team of competitors, a team of dream crushers. While they may not always express it to the media, they enjoy stomping and kicking the hopes of other players. Please tell me Lidstrom, Datsyuk, Franzen, Zetterberg, and Osgood want to see Crosby carry the cup, in their arena? No, these players ARE, in the truest sense, Red Wings. They are nothing but fully committed and you can be sure they intend on keeping Stanley with them, for the organization, for the fans.

Tonight their moment has come. In front of their fans, in their city, in their state. They will be ready. The crowd will be ready, chanting, singing (or screaming) the words to "Don't Stop Believin" with every ounce of energy they have. During game 7 of the Duck's series, the JLA crowd was epic. In the truest sense they were the 6th man. Tonight, if you're going to the game, leave every ounce of energy there. Make us proud. For those of us far away, from the deepest part of our hearts, will them on, pace, anticipate, suffer, and fight through every shift with this team, our team of dream crushers.

I admit. As always I'm nervous, panicked, anxious, and completely unable to perform the basic life functions. It's strange but a sharp pain in my stomach has almost become my playoff tradition. And yet deep down, I know this team is ready. Deep down, they know the expectations of them and the responsibility they take each time they put on the Winged Wheel.

Either way this is the last game of the season. The last time this group of hockey warriors will step on the ice together. These Red Wings, Detroit's Red Wings, Michigan's Red Wings will not let their fans down. They're ready. Because as a Red Wing, they know there is No. Other. Choice.

In the the words of John W from A2Y, 12th home win, on the 12th of June, for the 12th cup.

Lets Go Wings.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Am I surprised?

No. No I am not surprised. In the deepest part of my soul, hidden far, far away, I knew this was a possibility. I knew that the schizophrenic Wings who have both simultaneously broken my heart and made me jump for joy could sure as hell do something like this.

The worst part. Well we get to listen to the media jump off the Wings bandwagon and hop aboard the Sidney Crosby Cocksucking Express for 2 days. Yeah, I must have punched a puppy or something in my past life to be subjected to this shit. And let me just say, I sure as hell hope the Wings who came out for Game 5 show up for Game 7....because that is the only way they are going to win. Osgood, Zetterberg, Helm, and Datsyuk cannot do it on their own despite their best efforts last night. And Ozzie....too bad the rest of his team didn't show up because you could tell he smelled blood. He wanted the cup.

I really don't want too talk to much about the game. Which is odd for me since I am generally long winded and obnoxiously wordy. But I'm a bit too bitchy for that today and it is far too nerve racking to relive. So here are just a few random thoughts.

After the game I was immediately pissed. I yelled at the TV questioned their commitment and was very openly hoping Ken Holland was packing up Hossa's bags to personally send his ass out of Michigan. But after sleeping on it, I don't think that they came out expecting to win. In fact, I think they were concerned that this very scenario would take place and as a result were far too cautious. Once again their desire for an advantageous matchup took precedent. As a result the defense seemed to be sitting on their heels the whole game. Far more concerned with the next change than supporting the forwards. A stark contrast from what we all watched in Game 5 where they were pinching at appropriate times....

And yes this leads to the Lebda/Filppula situation about a minute into the second period. Lebda pinches and so does freaking Filppula who is fully out of position for the 2 on 1. Was it a nice rebound for them from Ozzie? Yes, but the poor man can't do it on his own. Now if only the Wings would have taken advantage of the Pens pinching all night, given a nice long pass and taken the puck up the middle, this may have been a completely different morning.

Zetterberg had so many chances last night, but he just couldn't score. When his shot went off the post my heart stopped and I had a sinking feeling it just wasn't their night. Well it was either that or my Red Wings induced ulcer began to grow even larger....either way.

Quickly I would just like to point out that Samuelsson disappeared on the Kennedy goal. Yeah both him and Hossa.....fuck come on guys get your game together. After Kennedy put the Wings up 2-0, my dad called me all sorts of pissed off. He began yelling how Kennedy has what 5 goals this season and is better known for making out with his hockey stick than he is for his offensive prowless, and yet the Wings let him score in freaking Game 6 of the Stanley Cup Finals. Ummmmm yep, the the guy who likes to tongue fuck his hockey stick personally kicked every Wings fan in the balls....thanks.

A quick Hossa note. I think he's hurt. Or at least he better have some sort of excuse for his shitty play this post season. And when I say hurt, I mean something that would keep him out of the lineup under normal situations. Something like the catastrophic testicle injury Lidstrom dealt with for two games....something, because otherwise he is just not mentally tough enough to play for the Wings...

Yeah I have more to say, and maybe I will since there are two days off. But right now I'm done. The Wings have no one to blame but themselves for this loss. For 50 minutes they skated around with minimal or cautious effort and then expected to win it in the last 10 minutes. This is the freaking Stanley Cup Finals. That is not going to happen. They need to take a good long look in the mirror and decide how bad they want this, how they want their summers to pan out. And think about the fans who will be forced to endure a Sidney Crosby media gang bang if....oh fuck I can't even say it.

I just hope they reevaluate and remember their Dynasty is right in front of them. As cliche as it is, it's theirs to win and theirs to lose.

It's going to be a long day. But I guess this gives the Wings a chance to win it at home, in front of their own fans, at the Joe. Sidney Crosby said this:

“Our team has proven we’re a true team."

Well I have no fucking idea what that means or what the fuck the Wings have been playing for the past 6 games. But at least now they will be able to beat a"true team" into submission as opposed to what, Crosby's bitchy minions....who knows....

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

A Culmination of a Seasons Work

It's here. Game 6. A chance to skate Lord Stanley around Mellon Arena for the second year in a row. A chance for Hossa to show he made the right choice. A chance for Ozzie to further prove his case for Hall of Fame status. A chance to cement their dynasty.

The media has flipped a bitch once again. After game 4 they harped on the tired, old, and dead Wings. They began to purchase special black and gold frames to hold the first photo of Sidney Crosby carrying the cup. And then after game 5, well they decided to leap back onto the Red Wings bandwagon. As pathetic as all of this may be, none of it matters.

There is still a lot of hockey to play. And really anything can happen. Which is what will make today inexplicably stressful. During normal situations I am curled up in the fetal position, sick with worry, unable to comprehend a loss....but today, well let's just say a game 7 is not an option. Not only will my nerves decide to quite this bitch, but I will also be on my way to Vegas for my bachlorette party Friday, and well that is not a place to handle a game 7. It needs to be wrapped up tonight. Finished. Another dagger into the heart of Sidney's Uncle Gary.

Saying Pittsburgh will be playing with desperation is possibly the biggest understatement of the year. I'm sure the thought of watching the Wings skate with the Cup in their building for the second year in a row has caused more than one bed wetting night terror. So Detroit's challenge, they need to match that desperation. Come out strong, play a full 60 minutes. Play their game. Because if they do......

Don't underestimate either team, but remember, this 'old' team of Red Wings is full of champions, veterans and rookies who know and love the game. And you can be sure, they are ready and know what it will take to win.

No real preview today. There's no point, no need. Nothing more can be said, it's all felt, known, and understood by the Wing's past, present, and future.

"You've got to love what you're doing. If you love it, you can overcome any handicap or the soreness or all the aches and pains, and continue to play for a long, long time. "-Gordie Howe

"I also feel I adapted. I was willing to try to fit into any role. The way I figured, it was always up to me to prove my worth, that I deserved to be here. "- Steve Yzerman

"It's been a great honor for me to be a player for the Detroit Red Wings, to play for an Original Six franchise. I know I'm far from perfect, but I learned a lot." - Steve Yzerman

"The first thing on my mind is that great players aren't judged on one play, one series or even one full season or career performance. It's all about lifting the Stanley Cup ... one time, two times, whatever. That's all that I really wanted since I saw my first Stanley Cup Final when I was 13 or 14. When I saw the greatest players in the world celebrate winning by raising the Cup high into the air, I knew it was something I wanted to do. To me this is a defining moment for anyone who strives to be the best. And doing it with this group of guys, battling through four series, was real special."-Henrik Zetterberg

The time is here, it's now. The Wings, they will not let this opportunity pass them by. The leaders, the grinders, the front office, this is what they work for, what they strive for. The Detroit Red Wings do not make it the Stanley Cup Finals, fight through adversity, pull together as a team, to watch an undeserving spoiled child carry the cup. No, they will be ready. They know their time is here.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

And he still hasn't changed

Crosby via the Windsor Star:

"It was just mistakes, and they capitalized," said Crosby. "It wasn't domination by any stretch."

Hmmmmm alright "captain." Make excuses, I'm sure that's much easier than having the balls to step up and say, we need to be better.....Apparently Crosby's lack of ownership, leadership, and ability to give credit to his opponents has not changed since last year...

But to me, this looks like a team that was dominated. Or at the very least in need of a leader and not a 21 year old whiny little bitch....

Yesterday's Lesson.....Leadership

Now that one, that one felt really good. After a sad performance on Thursday night, the Wings came back strong on Saturday and showed why they are the defending Stanley Cup champions. It was a classy and in honor of Babcock, a "willful" performance by the Wings. Losing last night was not an option, and they knew it. They came out and answered their critics....and funny, I didn't have any ass hole emails from Pens fans today....hmmm apparently a 5-0 victory causes them to shut the fuck up for a day or two....

Alright a few quick thoughts:

Datsyuk started out a bit slow and I was concerned that his foot was going to be too much of an issue. But after his first shift he really seemed to get his timing back and I'm sure the adrenaline rush helped as well. Another great move by Babcock to start him on Zetterberg's wing. It was certainly beneficial to both. Datsyuk only had to take 4 faceoffs and Zetterberg no longer had the weight of the team on his back. He had someone to share the burden with.

In fact the whole team seemed to exude confidence after watching a few shirts by Zetterberg and Datsyuk. It was exactly the kind of boost they needed. Now I am not suggesting their great play was solely a result of one player, but he was the extra piece they needed, the extra little confidence.

And quite frankly, after Datsyuk's first shift, he regrouped and didn't look back from there. He had a great hit on Malkin and a beautiful pass to Cleary for the first goal. If nothing else he seemed to draw 2 or 3 Penguins to him. It was absolutely great to see him back.

Fleury is a pure butterfly goalie. And he seems to drop to his knees faster than a cheap whore. Last night the Wings really seemed to use this to their advantage.

Ozzie was strong once again. While he wasn't terrible in Pittsburgh they certainly weren't his best performances. But as expected from Osgood, he rebounded and played well when he needed to. And now has two assists during the playoffs. I'm pretty sure that's more than Maltby. After a great heads up pass to Hossa on a long Pittsburgh line change, Hossa makes a nice play to Filppula for the goal. The sequence just exemplified the change in the Wings over all play.

Kronwall and Rafalski both came back from poor performances and had great games. Each with a goal and great defensive play. Kronwall's goal was most surprising when he drove to the net from the corner on the power play and stick handled like he was Pavel freaking Dastyuk by 3 Pens defensemen. They were so surprised they didn't even react.

Overall they seemed to diminish turnovers and started making crisp clean passes. Which can be attributed to their newly found confidence.

During the second period the Penguin's frustration really seemed to escalated and like the Ducks and Hawks before them, they for some fucked up reason thought the best plan of attack would be to goon it up with the Wings. Ummm yeah because that worked so well before....Let's see if we can list their amazingly classy antics:

  • Kunitz attempts to drop the gloves with Helm during one of many after whistle scrums. Yeah, because it would be soooo advantageous for him to fight you. Once a dick always a dick...he enjoyed some time in the box.
  • Talbot easily was the biggest douche bag of the night. And that is a hard award to win. He purposely slashed Datsyuk in the foot. Apparently the Pens remembered how much more difficult the Wings are when they have everyone in the line up. Not to mention this is exhibit A for hiding playoff injuries.
  • Matt Cooke is a donkey dick just like his bff Kunitz
  • Malkin. Hmmmm where to begin 6 penalty minutes does not make a leader or a star player. Tisk Tisk. Stupid penalties all around especially the elbow to Franzen's head.
  • During ANOTHER after the whistle scrum, Crosby starts throwing some gloved punches with the linesmen safely in sight. I hope Babcock reminded the boys to cover their ass holes when Crosby starts swinging....
  • For some reason I can't remember who absolute wrecked Kronwall in the head....but it was awful. If a Wing did that, they would be looking at a suspension. Seriously if Kronwall himself did that, out of the game. But I doubt anything will happen...
  • And finally we get to the leader of the Penguins. The savior of the League. The anointed one. The face of the NHL. Awww the little boy made his uncle Gary proud last night, with his beautiful frustrated slash on Zetterberg. Sorry Crosby, no matter who creams their panties over you...that's going to be a trip to the box. And what did one of the Wings leaders do? Oh well Zetterberg falls from the slash and immediately gets back up and plays on. Now as a fan, I'd rather watch that. As opposed to Crosby falling to the ground after the Maltby slash grasping himself in anguish as if Maltby had taken a chain saw to him. A side note.....Don Cherry seems to hate soccer players and their diving wasn't that exactly what his good ole Canadian boy did, as opposed to the evil Swede. I'm just saying.

A few other notes, Crosby didn't play the last 5 and a half minutes of the game. I'm sure they were "getting him ready" for game 6....but Yzerman, Zetterberg, and Lidstrom, the leaders in Detroit always managed to finish the game. Because when your team is down, when they're imploding, you don't hide behind the bench. Just ask Datsyuk who apparently threw a fit after not being allowed to play in Game 4. HE decided he was playing in game 5.

Draper only had about 6 minutes of ice time. I wonder if he is hurting and if Abdelkader will be back for Game 6.

The Chief has a great screen grab of little Gary pouting after his Penguins imploded. After his golden child acted like a douche bag, like a skid mark on the underpants of society, he apparently wasn't too happy. Sorry but I thought he was supposed to be impartial. Ha.

While the Wings played great, the scary thing is, they can still play better. And they will need to on Tuesday. While the Penguins were immature and classless last night, they will regroup and come out flying on Tuesday. And the crowd, well that will be a 6th man for them. The Wings need to stay focused and continue to push hard and finish this bitch up on Tuesday. I'm not sure anyone other than Gary can handle a game 7 at this point.

Oh, and the Tigers won last night....just saying.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

No preview....No need

It's game 5. If you have read anything regarding the finals over the last day and a half, well than you know the Pens have already won the Stanley Cup. They have already beaten the big, bad, tired, unmotivated, bickering Red Wings. If you want to believe all the reports, this bitch will be wrapped up in 6 games and we will be forced to watch Sidney Crosby carry the cup over and over again, until I am left with no choice but to poke my eyes out with a dull object.

But what all the media and bloggers are failing to remember is the Stanley Cup finals are not about game to game momentum. It has nothing to do with past facts and statics or sexy predictions. It has everything to do with heart and will and determination. Did the Wings play like a big steaming pile of shit last game. Of course they did. Are they embarrassed, hell yes. This is a team of champions and they will fight through the adversity and play a strong game tonight.

I have read a number to times that because the Wings have previously won the cup, the motivation just isn't there. Are you fucking kidding me? You are bat shit crazy if you think they have sacrificed and worked to get to the finals, to once again play into June, just to now decide, it's not that important. Sorry you have greatly underestimated this team.

Rest assured the leadership, the veterans, and the young guns will be ready tonight. They will be ready to prove themselves. It should be a hell of a game.

And let me just leave you with this. This morning I woke up to this email:

Subject: Top Shelf Where Mama Hides the Cookies!!!!‏

Pens is 6!!!

Yep the little fuckers are confident. They feel it's wrapped up. The cups is theirs. Which will make a Wings victory that much more satisfying.

Let's Go Wings.

Friday, June 5, 2009

So what hurts worse than...

Update: And this, well this just made me sad.

"They looked frustrated, looked like they had no energy," Orpik said. "When you see that, you feed off it."

Even worse, Orpik said he noticed Red Wings players getting on each other.
"Which you never see out of those guys," he said. "It's something you don't expect from them or see too often. I guess, a good sign for us."

Best of 3 was painful, but remember this is a championship team. For our sanity and the sake of all that is holy they have to win. There is no way in hell I can watch Crosby carry the cup over and over and over again.

A kick to the balls? Obviously as a girl I'll never understand how painful that really is, but I'm sure what I'm feeling right now is about 10 times worse than that. Let me just begin by saying there is no way in hell I am doing a game recap. Nope. So if you were looking for one, sorry. This post instead will be filled with self indulgent bitching and just a sprinkle of heart ache. So please either stop reading or fuck off. Last night is something I just want to forget. It's like the first time you drank to excess, why would you want to relive that horrible feeling which essentially made you grope your own toilet?

I was never a journalist major, nor have I ever claimed I am a skilled writer. In fact I am convinced my 3 year old niece has better grammar than I do. So please, help me out. What is stronger than dispare, heart ache, disgust, bull shit. I don't know but whatever it is, that is probably what I am feeling about now. That game was brutal to watch. I think only Helm and Zetterberg came to play. Today, co-workers, clients, managers. Stay back. Give me space. They are all far too lucky I only have pens at my desk. To drill those through my temple would be too much work.....

So anyway my dad and I are really close. We get along great. But he is pissing me the fuck off right now. He has this theory that I was hoping the Wings would disprove last night. Ok so maybe theory isn't the correct word. Maybe I should say superstition. For the past few weeks, every time the Tigers win, the Wings win. When they lose, the Wings lose. Yeah I told you it is fucked up but strangely accurate. So yesterday afternoon, Phoenix time, when he didn't text me the Tigers score I knew something was wrong. I knew it wasn't going to be good. So I bit the bullet and called. Sure enough they lost and he has the audacity to tell me "well now you know how the Wings game will be." Is it appropriate to say shut your whore mouth to your dad? Probably not...

While the Wings and Tigers didn't break that streak, Hossa of course did break his game 4 domination streak. Because that is how he has been throughout the entire playoffs. Yeah, because I'm all sorts of bitchy right now, Hossa, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. See you later....I'm over it.

I know today will be brutal. I will have to live through ridicule and torture. When I got to my desk this morning there was a rubber octopus with a rope around it's neck...yeah where the hell do you buy a rubber octopus? To find that would take more effort than we saw from all the Red Wings combined in the second period...Oh and my "friend" with all the inside information. Well he thought it was appropriate to call this morning as well. Just to tell me I told you so. Just to let me know it was wrong to doubt him regarding the Datsyuk situation. Yeah fuck off too....Tyler from the Triple Deke mentioned he peed on random objects as a direct result of his excitement over Datsyuk returning. Well Tyler, as ladies we don't really pee on things to mark them, but I feel your pain. And can I just say, don't expect Datsyuk back....anyway that's what I'm being told and I refuse to doubt those around me again. The disappointment is too painful....I think I now understand the meaning of a dick tease...

We are now down to a best of 3 situation. The Wings lost all the momentum they had. I'm too depressed and hung over to speculate, but this is awful. I cannot believe they let themselves get to this point.....And to think I was concerned about missing Saturday's game because I would be playing games at a baby shower....guess that doesn't matter now.....fuck, it's going to be a long day.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

And it's a must win

Tuesdays game was certainly a disappointment. A certain black cloud will now hang over that date. A dark day for me if you will. Something to dread. But the great thing about the Wings, they've already let it go. Moved on. They will use it for motivation tonight. The reports I've read about their optional practice on Wednesday, Zetterberg and Lidstrom decided it would be important to skate, and they seemed to be enjoying themselves. Yep, the leaders of the team are ready. They want to crush the hopes of Crosby and his prepubescent fans. While at the same time pissing Gary off so completely that he hits two women with a bar stool. I've been driving this point all series, it's important to be driven and focused, but it's also just as important to be loose and to absolutely love what you do.

They will be ready for tonight's game. Sure the officiating has been inconsistent. But it's not a surprise. It's been awful throughout the playoffs. Disappointing, infuriating, but far from shocking. In fact it's sad, but you can almost predict what will occur and when. The good news....Detroit has fought through this adversity in the past. Game 7 of the Anaheim series, two 5 on 3s for Detroit. Their penalty kill, which has been weak all year, somehow battled through that, and of course you know they won the game. My point, when the Wings feel as though they're pushed against a wall, kicked while they're down, or maybe I should say elbowed in head, they respond.

Tonight hopefully will be a prime example of this. Game 4 is a must win for Detroit. I hate to sound so dramatic and foreboding, but if there ever was such a thing as a must you go. It's tonight. If Detroit pulls off a win, there is a serious swing in momentum. If Pittsburgh ties it up...well we have a tired Wings team essentially starting from scratch. But I don't need to point that out to you.

So what are the keys for Detroit?

They need to improve on the penalty kill. Pittsburgh is much weaker during a 5 on 5 situation. Obviously special teams will be huge tonight.

Diminish turnovers all together. But specifically in their zone and through the neutral zone. Shorten the outlet passes and focus on the small simple plays. The chances to capitalize will come.

Ozzie needs to have a stand out game.....yeah no pressure there....but he thrives on this shit. Praise never seems to work for Osgood, it seems to be is kryptonite, but criticism, well he seems to feed off it. I think he enjoys giving the media and his critics the proverbial middle finger.

Hossa needs to show up and play a full game. While I would love to see him continue his game 4 scoring streak, even if he drives hard to the net, fights be be first to the puck, and is strong defensively, it will make a huge difference for his team. Up until this point, he has almost seemed lost, or too intent on doing everything on his own.

Match ups will be an issue. Babcock seemed to be a bit surprised and unhappy with Zetterbergs high ice time. It will be interesting to see Mike's plan for game 4.

Pittsburgh is going to come out flying in the first. They now feel as though they should be winning this, skating with Detroit. It will be important for Detroit to respond carefully, yet convincingly. Let those little fuckers wear themselves out.

Oh,What he said.

And the wild card.....Datsyuk. As a game time decision. All I can do is sit in a puddle of stress and cold sweats (which is hard to do in Phoenix during the summer) until we find out if he is available. During his presser on Wednesday he had this to say:

Oh, I tell you, just this is not fun to watch. I take in lots of beer. But it’s better when you play in the game and you be there with the teammates on the ice. Try to help.

The game is 60 minutes, I hope I play 60 minutes. But we make a decision tomorrow morning. There’s no how much I play, but I try to work with what I have this time.

Yeah for some reason, I'm not sure he was joking about the whole beer know how stressful this shit has been for the fans, now multiple that times 100 for the players.... Every time they have a breakdown defensively or a penalty kill, he may have needed something stronger than a beer. You can tell he wants this, can taste the cup, it's right there. And if he can play, well that Dangling little bastard will be out there.

Tonight is a pivotal moment in the Wings run to the cup. It's been established that they may be competing against two opponents. I'm not saying it's a conspiracy theory, but it certainly is incompetence. Detroit will have to play a smart and disciplined game while still being alert and aware of possible cheap shots. Emotions will be high, sticks and elbows flying.

But these are the Red Wings. They know what is expected of them and what they need to do to win. Babcock....yeah enough said, he's probably cackling in his office while reviewing his master plan to drive Sidney Crosby bat shit crazy. And Zetterberg, we'll he's a willing participant in that. Keep Crosby off the scoreboard tonight, and we may see a bitchfit full of anal fisting and hair pulling.

Thursday's here. The Wings are ready. Me? Oh I'm a fucking ball of stress unable to hold down solid food but making up for it with high alcohol consumption.

But if you would like to calm your nerves for a few minutes, enjoy the video below. Apparently it is played before each game at the Joe. I however wouldn't know being stuck out here in hockey hell...

I think it's time that Pittsburgh got to experience a little Dangle Dangle tonight....

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

A kick to the balls

UPDATE: Well, while my little friend is a nice guy, I certainly hope that he was just being an ass monkey and screwing with me, or misunderstood and Datsyuk is ready to go. The news from MacLeod was more welcomed than the free health clinic is to a college freshman. Seriously, I cannot begin to describe my elation when I read that update. I tried to be cautiously optimistic, but that lasted for about 2 seconds and I immediately broke out into song a dance. Well not really but I sure as hell cackled and was less of a ball buster at work. Yep, I jumped over that fricken ledge and have set myself up for serious disappointment if he isn't set to go. So a good day..... I guess we will see for sure tomorrow, but can you imagine if that Dangle Dangle little bastard is back...alright I'm going to breathe into a paper bag now...

Well I tried to be positive and let the loss go. Push it away. Release it. All despite the fact that that day, that anniversary, is now about 10 times worse than it already was....

So since I've found out some not so promising news, and it's caused me to chew my nails down to absolutely nothing, I thought I would share my pain with anyone who happens to stumble upon this blog. Sorry, I'm just in a bitchy mood.....

I talked to my contact who may be in the know about all things Red Wings. (yeah there is no way to say "source" without sounding like a total douche bag, so let it go), and apparently the SI report about the Hossa contract is true, although I will say their numbers may be a bit off....

But the most interesting information I learned is on the Datsyuk front. I won't say what specifically is wrong, since I was asked not to, but I wouldn't expect him back. More like potentially done for the year. I will say it doesn't have anything to do with his pain tolerance, more so his mobility.....but because it's the Wings, they always hold out hope and are still trying a few things which may help....but Babcock needs to figure something else out...come up with a different plan...Fuck. See you in Traverse 8:30 in the morning too early for tequila...

Tuesday, June 2, 2009


Alright So I missed the first period and part of the second. But from what I can gather, the Wings did not play well in the first. They were apparently slow getting to the pucks and had some issues clearing their zone. So essentially, what the Wings have been doing during their entire playoff run. The difference, Ozzie had a poor game. He let in some goals he should have stopped. I rewatched the goals on my DVR and there were definitely two softies. Hopefully he can be able to regroup, read some articles from the press about his play, get pissed the fuck off, and come out like an Ozzie possessed on Thursday.

This recap is going to be short, quick, and dirty. Just like....well never mind. I don't want to harp on this game too much. It sucked, but I fully expected this shit to happen. For some reason game threes are haunting. The key will be for the Wings to rest and get ready for Thursday. They will need to have a much stronger effort if they want to maintain the lead in the series.

I think the officiating was poor. Not entirely sure how you can fail to count to 6, especially when some toddlers can do so in multiple languages. But, I will attempt to bite my tongue and hold off until Thursday. If this shit that went on tonight (cross check to the head anyone? Anyone? Gary you nasty little fucker?) goes on again....well I might as well just watch the NBA.

The Wings seemed to dominate during the second period and vastly out shot the Pens. However they didn't convert. For some reason they were not driving the net. I'm not sure if it's because they were constantly concerned about the matchups, because they weren't sure how the game would be called, or because they were simply trying to be too fancy, I don't know. But it has to change. The playoffs are full of dirty gritty goals, even more tainted than Bitchmans soul, so if they expected to come back on Thursday, they need to drive the net.

Once again there were far too many turn overs in the Wings zone. Seriously, they were giving it away more than a cheap whore. It's been like that all series and it needs to stop now.

For some reason they seem to struggle getting outlet passes to their forwards. I'm sure it's a result of the Penguins aggressive forecheck. But for fucks sake. Adjust. Pull the forwards back and just be a bit more explosive in the neutral zone.

Ummm shoot the damn puck. Yeah enough said about that.

Hossa needs to have a break out game. I saw bursts of effort from him today, and you can hate me for saying this, but if the fans didn't boo him when he was on the ice, I may not have noticed him. Yeah, since the Wings can't seem to break their poor pk streak, maybe Hossa won't break his Game 4 streak....either way, he needs to show why he deserves a 7 year contract and why he is more important than Detroit's depth players.....ummmmm yeah trust me I'll have more on that tomorrow....

They need both Datsyuk and Draper back. Datsyuk for obvious reasons. But you know what, I still don't expect him back....I don't know it's a nasty hunch eating away at my sun shinny personality. The same feeling I got about today's game. I think Draper would have helped greatly on the penalty kill, face offs, and when necessary the matchups.

Zetterberg, was well Zetterberg. You can tell he wants this one badly.

Helm had a great game. But mostly I was just happy he left with his head still attached. I wish I could say I was being sarcastic...but no really, it was ridiculous. You can tell he has pissed some people off in Pittsburgh.

Sidney Crosby is still a whiny little bitch and had the audacity to begin bitching to the refs right at the start of the second. If only he could learn a thing or two from his coach who seems to be a decent guy. Yeah I know....that sounded weird.

There is more I could say, but at this point I want to move on, well unless I let this fester too much tonight, and then I'm pissy trying to catch up on all my work tomorrow...but we'll see. This was a game they could have won and should have won. I said before that they need to split in Pittsburgh. I hope they don't look back and realize this was the one they needed to win.

The Penguins played well again. Like they have all series. Detroit still didn't bring their A game. That needs to change on Thursday. If Detroit plays to their potential, they should be able to win this. I can only hope that Lidstrom and Zetterberg can lead their team to another victory in game 4, and that Babcock can work some magic and find a way to push his team through their struggles. A loss on Thursday...not an option...if there ever was a must win.....

Monday, June 1, 2009

Into Hostile Territory......

Now I know I have joked about Zetterberg bending Crosby and Malkin over to make them his bitches, but this....was a bit too literal.

Well this is going to be a quick and dirty game preview. Unfortunately I will be traveling all day tomorrow for work so I won't be around a computer. I certainly hope I won't come back to any big surprises...well nasty surprises anyway. Last time I was away during the playoffs, Kronwall was thrown out for a clean hit and Lidstrom was hurt. So yeah, it's about time for my mojo to change. I can't deal with that shit anymore. And if I begin receiving emails and text messages with bad news, I'm pretty sure my boss will look down on the resulting behavior...not to mention what the clients will think...

So the Wings are up 2 games to 0 in this series. And they certainly haven't played to their greatest potential. By far. But you have to credit their resolve. The first two lines have essentially cancelled each other out, and Detroit's depth players have once again stepped up and taken advantage of their opportunities.

All day today I have read about Pittsburgh fans and bloggers bitching and moaning about this being uncalled, that being uncalled, Detroit's supposed interference, and the mysterious Zetterberg left hand puck grab in the crease. I expected this type of response with Pittsburgh being down 2-0. What I didn't expect was the main stream media to jump all over the Penguins dick and bitch about the officiating. Apparently since the team with the "sexy" story isn't crushing the big bad Red Wings, it must be a direct result of the Wings interference, moving picks, and general evil behavior. From reading some things about Detroit, I would think the Wings ate puppies and peed in the cereal of small children. My response. Suck it. Over at A2Y they basically debunked all of the horrendous claims about Detroit, so there really isn't much more for me to add.

I think tomorrow will be the toughest game of the series. There is a lot stacking up against the Wings.

  • Pittsburgh feels as though they should be ahead in the series. Their sense of entitlement is greater than Ovechkin's ego. It's shocking actually.

  • Just like all teams coming back from the road they will feed off the energy of the crowd. True many will be preteen girls with a higher pitch scream than Abdelkader's goal celebration, but none the less the crowd will be like a 6th player.

  • I honestly fear the officials will be looking to even things up. They've heard the bitching and whining in the media. And I'm sure if it means one less time having to speak to bitch baby and powder his ass after a temper tantrum, then they may need to selfishly make that call.

  • Pittsburgh's emotions will be high and if they can harness the energy appropriately after last game the Wings may have their hands full.

  • And finally, I think the Wings are going to be tired. 3 games in 4 nights and with their injuries, it will probably effect them the most.

There is a lot stacking up against Detroit for this first game in Pittsburgh. But it's important not to underestimate their will and drive to win. Babcock had this to say about Zetterberg:

I believe he has a will tank deeper than anybody I've ever been associated with.

Yeah for some reason whenever I read that I immediately think about Vicky from the Real Housewives of Orange County (shut up don't judge me) and her desire for her husband to fill up her love tank....but anyway I digress.

Once you strip away the Babcockian wording, it's easy to see his point. And if Zetterberg exemplifies this quality, as a leader of the team, do you think the others won't feed off it?

There will be a great deal in play tomorrow night. Datsyuk is still out and he probably won't be back this season....the Wings organization seems to be less committal on his return. Yeah, and I've been told not to expect any miracles regarding his return. I've already had a personal freak out about that one....

Crosby was given a day off by his coach, his explanation:

"Every day doesn't need to be Sidney Crosby day,"

Finally someone in Pittsburgh who hasn't drank the koolaid. That may be my favorite Crosby related quote. However, I cannot imagine the league is very happy with that. To Gary and his evil legion of minions at least 3 hours a day are dedicated to worshipping the anointed one while seamlessly cursing his direct competition. Nothing personal, just a little idol worship.

For Detroit to win tomorrow they will need to find a way to break up Pittsburgh's strong forecheck while at the same time not turning the puck over so frequently in their own zone. Ozzie is going to need to be our less than elite goaltender, per the usual. And in addition to the Wing's depth stepping up, Detriot's top players need to break out offensively while continue to smother Pittsburgh's stars. And finally, keep pushing, keep chipping away at the Penguin's resolve and sanity. Not only will it be entertaining, but incredibly beneficial.

Hopefully I will have a recap late tomorrow. Depending on flights and how my day goes I may have to DVR the game. I'm hoping for good news....and a little more of this.....pretty please.

Bitch, Bitch, Whine, Whine

Alright so I hope all the Pittsburgh fans, the NBC announcers, and the media in general, have a chance to see the break down of Hossa's "slash" over at A2Y courtesy of Moocat. Amazing. Simply well done. A great example of what a jackass and dirty player Hossa really is. *sarcasm* Allowing Dupuis to break his stick on Hossa's skate like that. An atrocity. Tisk tisk. I call for an automatic suspension...oh wait that's right, there is no such thing as an automatic suspension in the NHL. Damn. I get so confused. Moving on.....

So the magnificent duo over at NBC spent some time discussing the Datsyuk injury. And for some fucked up reason only known to them they think it has to do with his hip. Ok, here's a thought. Stop attempting to analyze situations you have no knowledge on. You sure as hell don't do it during the game so why make us sit through your half ass thought out explanations as to why Dangle is out. Sigh, rant over.

From what I've been told about Datsyuk's injury, it is not his hip. But thanks anyway NBC. I will say however that I certainly would not be holding out hope for him to come back Game three....yes I was infinitely disappointed when I learned a bit more today.....From what I've heard from someone with far more knowledge...I'd be more surprised if he did play.

But in more positive and less bitchy news, it sounds like Draper may be ready for game three. Who to sit? I'm going to go with Leino. You can't take Abdelkader out at this point....